Diary of the Dead Days
by RyeCat
Summary: Instead of choosing death, she chose to survive. Lily along with her little sister, Rose, and dog, Ripley, take on the hellish world before them. But they don't have to face it alone. When all hope was beginning to seem lost, she stumbles upon a group of survivors and joins them. Eventual Daryl/OC
1. Lily and Rose

**This is my first attempt at a Walking Dead fanfic and my first attempt at OCs. So, I hope you all enjoy!  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.**

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_Diary of the Dead Days  
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Part One: Atlanta

**Chapter One**  
_Lily and Rose_

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It was just Rose and me left. And Ripley too, but the dog accompanying us wasn't my choice. Rose couldn't bear to leave him and I can't stand seeing her blue eyes filled with anymore tears. Ripley was ecstatic about joining us, his excited barks echoed painfully through the air when I had let him out of his lot. Our parents had waved us off as we drove in the mini-van down the dirt road, leaving behind the farm where we grew up. That was the last time I would ever see my parents again, watching them disappear from the rear view mirror.

It was just a few days after the dead started rising and eating people for some unknown reason. Since our home was far from the city, or any real kind of civilization in general, we were able to wait them out longer than most. They eventually started wandering in our back yard, claiming the lives of the helpless cattle and horses which had kept the dead distracted from attacking us. My father would sit on top of the barn, shooting them with his shotgun but the loud noises only drew more near. Their numbers were increasing day by day to where our small farm would eventually become overrun. I begged my parents that we should move locations, try to find somewhere safe, but they kept refusing. Eventually they told me what they been planning.

They were planning to kill themselves.

When they told me the truth, I felt utterly devastated and was in despair. I couldn't say anything, I just cried like a baby. Being twenty-two and crying like that in front of my parents would've been embarrassing if the situation weren't so grave. They even asked me if I wanted to go with them but I didn't answer right away, seriously thinking it through. Rose, my little sister, was too young to even fully understand the situation. She just turned ten a month ago and her mind was mainly focused on being excited about school being shut down due to the crisis. I couldn't ask her to kill herself, I couldn't even explain the situation to her. So, I refused the offer and lied to my sister.

I told her that we were going separate ways from our parents, the adults had a special rescue center and we had to go to the one for children. She believed me completely and didn't question it, like usual. Always trusting the words of her older sister. That night we all slept in the king-sized bed in my parent's room, and I tried my hardest not to cry with Rose so close and just enjoyed the last moments we would all spend together.

When we left with Ripley, I tried not thinking about what my parents were doing or what they were feeling. My bottom lip was bloodied due to the fact I kept biting down on it to force myself not to cry. My parents let me take all the supplies I could from the house. I jammed everything tightly in the van with the entire backseat and trunk packed with food, medical supplies, gas jugs, and everyday necessities. Then I put as many miles as I could from between us and the house. I don't know if they waited for us to be long gone or not, but I never heard the gunshots.

Guns were bad in this situation since they made so much noise, but I brought a few shotguns and rifles from my dad's hunting collection, along with an old-fashioned compact bow, two metal baseball bats, and a fire axe, just in case. We drove down the dirt road and went along south on the main road, thankfully it was free from walkers.

"Lily," Rose muttered, "When will we see mom and dad again?"

"I don't know." I answered honestly. I really didn't know, it was only a matter of time before we met our inevitable deaths, and I was just extending our miserable existence.

* * *

A few weeks had passed, slow and agonizing weeks. Tracking time was starting to become difficult, so I just gave up on remembering the days, but Rose was stubbornly checking days off the calendar. Ripley was another mouth to feed but he ate less than he usually did, the dog must have switched in survival mood and saved most of his meals. I was actually glad he was with us, he would alert us of walkers by growling lowly and he saved us quite few times on the road. He was a lean German Shepard that was mainly used for herding the cattle on our farm, his fur was mostly a sandy, tan color with only his muzzle black.

My hair was rapidly becoming greasy due to not bathing for quite some time, so I ended up pulling it back in a ponytail and clipped the bangs out of my face with bobby pins. Rose kept her hair down but it was showing signs of improper care as well. We would have to find some source of water soon so we could bathe and refill our canteens. I had found an open field in the mountains near the outskirts of Atlanta. I hated big cities and knew I would be entirely lost if I were to even set foot in there, so I didn't even bother to search for the rumored shelters in Atlanta.

"C'mon, let's go find us a lake so we can bathe." I tried encouraging Rose by adding excitement to my voice. Even though it sounded fake, it appeared to have had work as she grinned widely and agreed. I wasn't happy about leaving the security of the van but we had to do something.

Majority of the day time, we sat inside of the minivan and would only set foot outside every now and then to stretch our legs. That was it, we ate every four hours in little portions and sometimes listened to the CDs left in the glove compartment and the ones Rose brought with her. At one point, Ripley growled to signify to approach of a walker and I had ordered Rose to stay put and I grabbed the baseball bat, beating it in the head as hard as I could until it didn't move anymore. We've only ran into one walker in the hills outside of the city which I could only take on one at a time, if two ever appeared, I would be toast. I considered looking guard on top of the van with my compact bow I brought along, but since my aim was terrible, I'd only lose the few arrows I have.

I let Ripley travel ahead of us when we departed, his pace was cautious and he sniffed the air often. He was making sure the coast was clear. After awhile, he relaxed and we walked with a little bit more ease. Rose carried a bag full of extra clothes and shampoos while I had the axe slung over my shoulder in case we ran into trouble. I kept in mind the location of our van, only traveling a straight line so we wouldn't get lost.

Ripley then abruptly stopped, jerking his head up from the ground and looked around. I stopped as well and put a hand in front of Rose, forcing her to cease. Then Ripley barked with joy. The loud noise made me grimaced but as he took off, we both chased after him. He had led us to an isolated quarry. Rose jumped with excitement and I couldn't help but squeal. Ripley plunged into the water, enjoying splashing around

I advised Rose that we would take turns, one would bathe and the other would be the lookout. I let her go first and she was thankful. She laid her pink sundress beside me in a neat manner and waded into the water, taking her time.

I rested on a rock near the shallow shore, still holding on to the axe in my hand. It wasn't long after until I started hearing noises, and by the look of Ripley's ears, he had heard it too. The noise was faint but the sound was recognizable. It was voices. Other people were at this quarry as well. I tiptoed behind a large chunk of rock, concealing myself from view. But my stealthiness was all for nothing as Ripley raced out towards the strangers, excited like he was racing off to see familiar faces. Judging by the high-pitched squeals, I knew automatically it was women. I cautiously approached Ripley and the small group of women, I had left my axe behind so it wouldn't seem like I was a threat.

"It's okay, it's okay! He won't hurt you!" My voice cracking as I forced the speech, my overbearing shyness was always present with strangers but I couldn't let that interfere with Ripley's safety at the moment. He was a good dog, but they didn't know that.

There were four women, all very much older than I except one. I heard my sister nervously call out my name but I hollered back, "Rose, there's people! There's more people, Rose!" My voice was gitty and full of joy, which I was instantly embarrassed when I heard the older blonde one giggle slightly. I must have sounded ridiculous. Looking closer, I noticed they were all carrying clothes, probably bringing them down to the quarry to wash.

I tried explaining my situation. I should have been more cautious about these strangers, but they were all so friendly and nice. They had a camp, with others as well. I offered my supplies if I could join but they were hesitant, saying they should ask Shane first. They were kind enough to wash Rose's dress and my clothes once it was my turn to bathe. Rose had brought an extra outfit that didn't match at all, but I doubt it matter anymore, her hot pink shirt and multicolored flower pants stood out brightly.

The youngest were two blonde girls, Andrea and Amy. Amy was around my age and very pretty at that, the two sisters were almost identical. It reminded me of Rose and I, we probably looked very similar even though our ages were far apart. Blue eyes and brown hair matching and my face rounded, giving my young adult self a childish look. I knew once Rose got older, she'll be my splitting image …. if she ever got older. Ripley took an instant liking to the oldest woman with short, gray-ish hair, named Carol. He sniffed her and sat down beside her protectively, his reaction towards her sparked my interest but I didn't mention anything. The final woman of the group was older too, a black woman with a friendly smile and caring nature named Jacqui.

"My name is Lily Ryder, and this is my little sister, Rose." I explained, my nerves still trying to calm themselves with my sister beside me.

"Those are both pretty names." Carol smiled at us. I thought our names were odd when put together, both named after flowers. My parent probably planned it out that way too. Thinking about them made my heart twist in pain. Even though about three weeks had passed, their deaths still gave me great sorrow and made my body ache when I thought of them.

"How about I show you to camp." Andrea said, motioning her hand for us to follow her, and with her sister led us to their camp. The camp was located on top of the steep hill that led down to the quarry, so we didn't travel far but my legs were beginning to ache. Spending weeks sitting in the van had probably weaken my muscles.

The other survivors were surprise to see strangers walk into their campsite and they were even more shocked to find a dog companion as well. However, the other children were excited to see the animal. A little boy and a little girl raced up to pet Ripley, who calmly stayed put while their fingers rubbed through his fur coat. A woman chased after the kids, telling them to be careful. The boy was named Carl and the girl was Sophia from what I heard the woman yelling.

"That's my dog, Ripley!" Rose boasted with pride to the other children.

It was suffocating to have so many eyes watching me, eyes full of suspicion and surprise. My face was beginning to heat up and my whole body was starting to get hot. Part of me was more happier when it was just Rose and me, but I knew we wouldn't last long on our own. We needed more people, especially if more walkers were to come. I looked around, suddenly aware that they were gazing at me so intently because they were waiting for me to speak.

"Um, m-my name is Lily Ryder and this is my little sister, Rose." I introduced my sister and I once again, "We've been living in our parents van for the past couple of weeks. We have more supplies and I'd be happy to share."

I wasn't speaking to no one in particular but as one man shuffled closer to me, I assumed he had the role of the 'leader' in this group. He had a mass of black, curly hair and wore a police uniform proudly with a gun in his holster.

"My name is Shane Walsh. You and your sister seem pretty harmless but I'm not so sure about this dog." He said, eyes darted between me and Ripley but his gaze rested on the dog. Ripley was the most intelligent canine I've ever seen, his chocolate eyes looked back at the police officer, knowing he was being spoke about.

"Ripley was our herding dog," My voice finding itself, I was starting to sound more full of authority like when I scolded Rose instead of sounding like a meek, scared girl, "He'll be more of a help than a bother, if it wasn't for him, Rose and I would probably be dead by now. He can smell a walker from a mile away. Whenever he growls, one is near."

My conviction sounded strong but I was only trying to keep Ripley safe from being abandoned. I knew if Ripley was forced to leave, Rose would be heartbroken. I couldn't let that happen. He grinned, nodding his head and taking his eyes away from Ripley. I smiled back, gracious that we had been accepted.

"Yeah, Shane. When we run outta food, we got us some extra meat." A man chuckled from a distance. A gazed over, noticing the tent furthest away from everybody else. The man who spoke had his hair cut close to his scalp and had a rough and rugged appearance, he was accompanied by another who looked just as rough but with darker hair.

I wasn't able to speak, my words and pride lost in seconds, and all I could really do was send a hateful look towards the older one. But, then Rose did something I really wish she hadn't done. She clenched her fist and glared hatefully at the two.

"No!" She snapped, "You're not going anywhere near my dog, you mean people!"

"No, no. It's alright." The police officer, Shane, reassured Rose by pulling her away gently, "We won't eat your dog, they are just messing around."

Rose didn't seem to believe him but reluctantly nodded, glancing back at the other men and fiercely sticking out her tongue at them. They both chuckled at her fire but left her be, keeping mostly towards their side of the camp. A short silence followed, but then everyone returned to their duties.

Rose and I were given a short, basic introduction of everyone. The woman who was watching over the kids, Carl and Sophia, was named Lori Grimes. The outcasts from earlier were Merle and Daryl Dixon. All the other people's names didn't stick too well in my head but I figured I would be learning them sooner or later. I had more of a knack of remembering faces more than names.

Rose tagged along with me to head back to where our van was parked, I didn't quite feel safe leaving her with these new people just yet. Shane offered to escort us, but I refused, saying Ripley was enough protection. I drove my parents minivan on the small trail that led up to these mountains, parking it near the RV and as close to camp as I could get. Our food supply was getting smaller and smaller, but it was enough to last us a few more weeks with the way we had been living. If I hadn't by chance found this survivor's camp, I wouldn't know what to do once the food was gone. Even though this world had became cruel, I was now facing it with a team.

Words couldn't explain how relieved I was to actually find more survivors. I started to hope once more.

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******That's it for chapter one, I hoped you liked it and please leave a review telling me what you think! Thanks for reading!**


	2. Breakdown

**Happy Halloween everyone! Thank you so much to everyone who favorite/follow/review chapter one! I really appreciate reading reviews and knowing people like my story enough to add to their favorites or follow it. Anyway, here is chapter two and I hope you all enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.**

* * *

_Diary of the Dead Days_

Part 1: Atlanta

**Chapter Two**  
_Breakdown_

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The fire was lowly lit, only embers allowed to burn so the flames couldn't be seen from a distance. The night air wasn't too chilly but the fire was barely able to keep me warm. I always hated the cold, but I was glad to have Rose in my arms and Ripley wrapped around my feet along with my little sister's pink, flowered blanket covering us. We already had dinner, it was some canned beans cooked over the fire, but my stomach still felt empty. However, I didn't dare to ask for more as I knew it was important to ration our supplies. Mostly everyone was swapping stories to one another but soon enough, the attention focused on me.

"So, Lily, what brings you to around this area." Shane asked and everyone's eyes looked in my direction. Well, I wasn't cold anymore as I started to feel everyone's burning stares, but before I could speak, Rose spoke for me.

"We are looking for a rescue center. Our parents had to go to another one just for adults." Rose grinned, wriggling around in my arms as she explained. She always liked talking just like my mom, I ended up with my dad's silence. By the look on Shane's face, I could tell that he wasn't sure what she was talking about. I tried to convey my feelings to him with pleading look saying to go along with it. He glanced at me and instantly knew he shouldn't press the subject and just reassure the young girl.

"Well, I'm sure they made it just fine." Shane smiled back, nodding in agreement, "There's no rescue center around here, but you guys are safe with us."

His words didn't sound reassuring to me, but it seemed to comfort Rose as she mumbled to herself and snuggled closer to me. It killed me. Every second I thought of how I was lying to Rose and how my parents were no longer living, it just killed me. I gnawed on my bottom lip in an attempt to not cry, my heart feeling heavy.

"Where did you guys use to live?" Amy spoke up, her head still resting on her elder sister's shoulder as they both shared a blanket like Rose and me.

"Um, we lived on a farm a long ways from town. So when the walker attacks started occurring, we didn't really run into many of them." I kept my focus on Amy, trying to ignore the rest of everyone's listening ears so I didn't feel as nervous, "But they were starting to move in, that's why we headed out."

The attention on me started to pull away as others began to talk about where they use to live and share a few memories, some detailed and some vague. Not everyone surrounded the main campfire, others like the redneck brothers and another small family had their own fire and didn't interact with anyone else. I didn't fancy Merle at all. During the rest of the day, he kept fiddling with his knife and every time our eyes met, he would point the knife towards Ripley. Ripley did not growl at the man, but I could tell that he didn't like the way Merle looked at him either.

As the later it got, more survivor's retired to their tents. Since most of us could no longer keep track of the hours that passed by, many just went to sleep when they felt tired. I hadn't packed a tent, the thought didn't even cross my mind when I was gathering supplies. The only tent I remembered us ever having was Rose's princess tent and it was too small, even for Rose now. An older man with a white beard and a fishing hat offered for Rose and me to sleep in the RV but I felt more comfortable sleeping in our van. I didn't tell him that directly but made an excuse about not wanting to lug our sleeping bags around and thanked him anyway.

I slept more soundly than I did in weeks, gladly knowing that we were surrounded by other survivors, and I didn't feel like I had to sleep with one eye open. Ripley seemed more alert than usual, probably spooked by that Merle guy, but I let him stand watch for us. Rose curled up in the now free backseat since we joined supplies with the rest of the camp and all our other personal belongings were able to fit in the trunk. I slept in the driver's seat with a fleece blanket and a pillow under my neck.

* * *

I ended up sleeping in, Rose even awoke before I did, which was rare. I was in a mild panic when I couldn't find her but she was already making friends with the other kids. She was constantly showing off her dog and now she dragged out her coloring book and crayons. I shook my head and smiled at her, her boasting attitude usually drove other kids away, but Carl and Sophia didn't seem to mind.

I felt kind of out of place, everyone was doing their own thing and was helping the camp in some way. I was just standing there, looking like an idiot beside my van. I immediately scanned the area for Amy or Andrea, dubbing them as my semi-friends. They probably didn't consider me as much but I was lonely, knowing that Rose already belonged to a group while I was the odd one out. When I couldn't find them, I looked to Ripley. He was obediently by Rose's side but his gaze rested on Carol, who was watching over the kids. Concern was present in his dark, brown eyes. It was starting to make me worried but I tried to shake it off.

I really didn't want to do laundry, and Rose and I didn't really have much clothes to wash since the other women did them for us yesterday. I knew I should have returned the favor and help them, but I was itching to do something I hadn't been able to do since this whole thing started. I popped open the hatch of my van, rummaging through my belongings. I had given the guns and the ammo to Shane since I had no idea how to use them. They were impressed by my artillery, but I explained it all belonged to my father's gun collection. However, I didn't lend them my bow or any of the close range weapons I had.

Like the guns, I had no idea how to use a bow properly. But it was a present from my mother a few years back. She desperately wanted to teach me archery, but I stubbornly refused. My mother was amazing as she was the captain of the archery team when she was in high school. I couldn't remember exactly why I didn't want to learn, but now I regretted it. Using a gun to kill the walkers was a death sentence, the loud noises would draw more near. A bow seemed more like a favorable weapon choice. Though, I only had five arrows.

I whistled for Ripley to come, his head jerked instantly, and he raced after me, excited. Rose was too busy coloring to even notice him leave. I drew something before I left the campsite, a horridly drawn walker head on the blank piece of paper. Tacking it on a tree with one of my arrows, it became my target. The location was just a little ways from camp behind were I parked my van, but there was enough distance so no one would see me. I stood a few yards away, spending a couple of minutes trying to figure out how to even handle the bow correctly. Once I got use to it, I aimed for the drawing and pulled back the string. Pulling the string was much harder than I expected, I had to strain to even get it fully back and once it was like that, my arm started shaking. I tried lining up the picture, aiming at its forehead. Then I released the arrow.

I had no idea where it went, but it surely didn't hit the tree. In fact, it was nowhere near the tree. I let out a frustrated sigh and aimed again and missed again. I used the rest of my arrows and never was able to hit the tree. This was a lot harder than I expected.

"Ripley, go fetch." I ordered, and the German Shepard jumped up from laying down beside me and darted into the woods. One by one, he brought back my arrows, "Okay, let's try this again."

Every shot had missed the tree, and Ripley went to fetch once more. I should have taken lessons from my mother, but it was too late for that. Too late for anything. Ripley returned with the arrows as tears started to flow from my eyes. It was pissing me off that I sucked at this, but it also made me hurt that I realized once again that both my mother and father were dead. It was too late to ever do anything with them. My dad wanted to teach me how to shoot and ride horses and my mom was thrilled to give me archery and cooking lessons. They always wanted to teach me those things, but I had been a stubborn, recluse teenager who spent all day in her room reading and surfing the internet. Always thinking that quality time with my parents was overrated. I wanted to give up, but I attempted one more shot, only to fail.

"Damn girl, you suck." A voice taunted me from out of nowhere. I jerked, wiping my tears furiously with the sleeves of my jacket. Looking over, I saw it was Merle's brother, Daryl. He didn't look at me, thankfully, and just walked towards the tree, "Suck at shootin' and drawin'."

I didn't know how long he had been watching me, but he had been quiet enough to slip under Ripley's radar. I noticed that in his hand was a crossbow which made me feel more embarrassed.

"You know, you're 'bout dumb shootin' at a tree." He commented, his back turned, "If you actually did hit the target, the arrow would be stuck."

His words didn't hurt me, I wasn't even really listening to him mocking me, but I was already feeling immensely depressed thinking about my parents. I hadn't had time to properly mourn for them nor had time to just cry, cry about everything. It would've been embarrassing to just start bawling in front of this guy, and I should have held it in, but I couldn't. I dropped to the ground and cried.

I think I freaked him out, but he didn't leave or say anything. It made it even worse because I had a bad habit of crying and complaining at the same time. Spilling out my emotions as I furiously sobbed.

"I do suck. My mom was perfect, but I didn't want to learn." I sobbed, my forehead on the ground as I cried in the dirt, "And my dad. I miss them so much. I've been lying to Rose … she thinks they're safe but they're really dead. They killed themselves. I should have just went with them, things would have been simpler. But no, no I had to be strong for Rose and let her continue living in this shitty world."

After about a minute or two of silent crying and a few more words, I was done and felt like a total idiot. If this guy was as much of a freak as his brother, he'd probably go on and tell my sister and probably the entire camp everything I said. My face was red and my jacket felt no longer necessary, the humidity and the heat of embarrassment was making me sweat. I looked up, and he was still there.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Words began to fumbled out of my mouth as I stood up and covered my face with my hands, "Please don't tell Rose anything. Not yet."

"Whatever." He muttered, glancing down at the ground but then looking back at me, "You better get back to camp, I heard them girls bitchin' about how you ain't helping with the clothes."

He turned to leave but I heard myself call after him, feeling even more like an idiot. He stopped and looked back at me, his dark gaze showing no signs of interest, "Can you teach me how to shoot a bow?"

He chuckled to himself and I was sure he would flat-out say no, but he stopped to think for a minute, "Well, it'd be better to have one less dumbass who don't know how to shoot 'round here. Whatever, I'll teach you then. Meet me here at dawn and don't be late."

With that, he left. I looked at Ripley, my arrow still in his mouth and a certain, curious gaze in his eyes.

"Shut up." I scolded, grabbing my arrow and heading back.

* * *

I jumped in where I could, standing next to Lori and helping her hang the clothes to dry. I could sense some resentment towards me for skipping out on laundry duty on my first day. She didn't say anything to me, but I could tell by her stiff movements that she was angry with me.

"I'm sorry." I spoke, "I just needed some time alone, it's been hard, and I hadn't had time to let it out."

"It's fine." Lori responded and her coldness melted away slowly, "Carl really likes Rose, its good to for them to have more kids to play with."

"Yeah, I was glad Rose could actually get along with others." I grinned, sneaking a glance at the children. They were with Carol and Amy still, and switched from coloring to studying. Rose didn't seem too pleased but accepted it none the less.

"And don't listen to Merle," Lori mentioned, "I don't care how low food is, I ain't eating no dog."

I smiled but didn't trust her words too much. My stomach was constantly growling but I haven't been faced with real starvation yet. I wouldn't eat Ripley, but I wasn't so sure about these people. And I still wouldn't trust that man alone with my dog. I was still nervous about these supposed lessons I asked for but learning how to shoot was necessary. However, I wasn't looking forward to learn from Daryl, but he looked like the only person in camp who knew how to use a bow.

After Lori and I hung the rest of the clothes out to dry, she told me I could have a break and spend time with Rose. My little sister was glad to see me and started to explain what they were studying. I graduated high school just about three years ago but I didn't attend college yet, I ended up taking a break instead of moving forward like most kids in my grade did. I wasn't even sure what I was going for but none of that matters anymore. Part of me was actually glad I didn't leave my family behind, especially when this crisis hit.

Carol, the other woman who helped watch the kids along with Amy, was very kind and I felt at ease with her like I did with most of the women in camp. Though I could sense the eyes of Carol's husband from far away. His name was Ed, I believe, and his gaze wasn't a friendly one. I think I was starting to understand Ripley's sudden urge to protect her as it was clear where Carol's bruises came from, but Ed appeared so menacing that there was no chance I'd ever be able stand up to him. Ripley could, but I was pretty sure if he put his fangs on anybody, the rest of the camp would want him gone.

"Hey, Lily." Amy's voice dragged me out of my thoughts, I blinked and smiled at her to show I was listening, "I have some chap-stick if you want some, you're lips look a little dry."

"Um, yeah, sure." I answered, nodding. I forgot all about my lips, they probably looked horrifying because of the way I've been chewing on them recently. But the pain of my teeth tearing into the soft flesh of my lips and the inside of my mouth stopped my sorrows from spilling out and kept me from constantly crying all day. I was beginning to feel pathetic.

I followed Amy, suddenly happy at the thought of being closer to her. She was always attached to her sister, acting like she wasn't interested in making other friends. Though it seemed that she was at least concerned about me, enough to give me something for my lips. She went to her and her sister's tent, crawling inside and rummaging through a bag. I waited patiently but felt someone staring at me. I glanced back and saw Merle in the distance, holding his knife and his gaze set on me. This camp would be paradise if Merle Dixon weren't here, and I didn't understand how the others tolerated him. I looked around, wishing Ripley was beside me.

"Here you go." Amy said as she crawled back out with a small tube in her hand. She noticed my gaze was fixated on something else and followed my eyes, "Don't pay attention to him, he's like that with everyone, or at least the girls that is. But don't ever find yourself alone with either of them."

I nodded, slowly tearing my gaze away from the man. I was starting to think it wasn't just my dog that he was after ...

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**End of chapter two! Thanks for readings and please leave a review telling me what you think~**


	3. Lessons and Weakness

**Thank you so much for all the reviews! I'm glad you guys like Lily! My plan is to mainly to follow the storyline of the TV show but possibly change a few things that will happen later on. Well, here is the third chapter and I hope you all enjoy.  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.**

* * *

_Diary of the Dead Days  
_

Part 1: Atlanta

**Chapter Three  
**_Lessons and Weakness_

* * *

The chap-stick that Amy gave me didn't help much but was able to relieve some of the pain that was starting to form around my lips. I tried to wake up earlier the next day by going to bed early but still managed to sleep in, completely forgetting about my plans for tomorrow. The knocking sound of someone's knuckles against the passenger side window abruptly ended my dreamless sleep. I physically jerked and looked around wildly, not exactly sure what was causing the noise. I looked through my window to see Daryl, and he didn't have a pleasant expression on his face.

I pulled my hair back and exited my van, none of the other campers had noticed him banging on my window. I was wondering why he looked so pissed off, but I suddenly remembered why I was trying to wake up earlier. He was planning on teaching how to shoot a bow.

"What the hell?" He growled, but his voice wasn't loud enough for everyone else to hear. Though I saw Dale peeking at us from up top of the RV, but he didn't say anything and continued on watch. "I've been waitin' on you for thirty minutes. I thought you wanted to learn how to shoot."

"I'm sorry, I do want to learn." I always hated being scolded, every time someone would yell at me, I wanted to curl up in ball and beat myself up over how stupid I was for days, "It won't happen again."

He rolled his eyes at me, probably reconsidering agreeing to teach me. It was becoming more easier to speak with the people in camp even though I'd only been here for two days. I didn't usually talk much to other kids at school because I wasn't really forced to, but in the camp, I had to learn quickly how to properly communicate so I didn't look entirely weak. It was kind of pathetic having a ten year old girl speak up for her twenty-two year old sister. I didn't much enjoy talking to Daryl, but I rather speak with him than to even look at Merle.

"Fine, get your bow an' hurry up. Since you slept in we don't have much time." Daryl snapped after his brief silence and roughly pointing towards my trunk. I popped the hatch and grabbed my bow and arrows. I whistled for Ripley and he came running towards me, "Why does your dog have to come?"

"He fetches the arrows." It wasn't a complete lie but that wasn't the only reason I wanted him with me. If those brothers were anything alike, I didn't trust either of them, and Amy's warning kept echoing through my head. Being alone with Daryl just seemed like too much of a risk.

We wandered into the area were I unofficially dubbed as my training grounds. The walker head I drew yesterday was no longer pinned to the tree but was hanging on a limb by a thin rope. The breeze caused it the sway back and forth, which would make hitting the target even harder. I stood a few yards away and Ripley rested at my feet, waiting to be called to gather any stray arrows. Daryl didn't say anything to me but just watched. I breathed deeply and pulled back the drawstring, taking a moment to aim, and then release the arrow. It zoomed past the target, not even nicking it, and disappeared into the woods.

"Okay, first off, you're doing it all wrong." Daryl criticized bluntly. That comment was quite obvious and made my patience wear thin as I rolled my eyes. I didn't back talk like I was in my mind and, instead, waited for him to continue, "You only pull back the string with two fingers."

"That's impossible." I heard myself snapped irritably. I even knew that much about archery, my mom constantly pounded that in my head every time I at least tried shooting a bow. It was hard enough pulling back the string with my whole hand, let out only two fingers.

"It's because you ain't got no upper body strength." He told me, "You ain't ready to shoot yet, you need to practice pulling it back."

I sighed in aggravation but didn't say anything and did as he told me. Ripley had already vanished into the woods, sniffing out my lost arrow. I suddenly felt very conscious that I was alone for the time being. Daryl just stood there, his arms crossed and watching for any signs of pulling the drawstring back incorrectly. Every time I put another finger on the string, he'd scolded me.

"Is your brother really going to eat my dog." I suddenly asked, trying to fill the awkwardness until Ripley got back. I was probably the only one who felt weird because Daryl didn't even notice the dog was gone until I mentioned something.

"If there ain't no food, that dog is going start lookin' pretty good." He laughed, saying exactly what I was expecting.

I rolled my eyes, ignoring the rest of his comments about all the kinds of animals he has killed throughout his life. I wasn't too big on hunting. After getting tired of constantly pulling back the drawstring and releasing it without an arrow, I bent down and picked up the one Ripley returned not too long ago. It was hard not to hear the loud snickers coming from Daryl, but I pretended like it didn't faze me as I readied my bow. I use only my index and middle finger to pull it back and steadied my aim at the drawn walker's forehead. Then released my grip.

The outburst of laughter from Daryl made it quite obvious I missed the target and was no were near it. I gritted my teeth and gazed hatefully towards the sky, not being able to look at my tutor directly. I was so sure this time I would at least hit the paper, but no, it was another failure.

"You should be givin' that bow to someone else. You can't shoot worth a damn." His insults didn't anger me as much as they just plainly annoyed me. I dropped my bow on the ground, not caring about damaging it or not. I didn't throw it but it wasn't gentle, "What, you upset?"

It wasn't a concerned question, he was mocking me yet again. I was beginning to regret this whole situation, thinking that taking lessons from him was a good idea.

"I know I'm no good at this." I muttered and then sighing, "That's why I wanted you to teach me, not just make fun of me the whole time."

"Just keep practicin' pulling it back when you have time and we'll work on your aim tomorrow mornin'." Daryl said, no longer mocking me, but then he sent a glare my way, "Better damn be on time too."

"Yeah." I mutter giving a half smiled, but I knew he wasn't joking about my tardiness.

* * *

Glenn was easy to get along with, and he really seemed to like Ripley as much as the kids did. When I got done with helping Carol and Jacqui with washing the final load of clothes for the week, I saw Glenn playing fetch with Ripley and Rose. He would take turns throwing a stick for Ripley to catch and Ripley would deliver it to Rose for her to throw. I would have thought Ripley was getting tired of playing catch from having to constantly chase down my arrows, but he appeared to be having a good time.

My approach distracted Ripley as he bolted towards me, greeting me by plopping down in front of me and awaiting for me to rub his belly in which I complied. Rose squealed, excited that I was finally chore-less. I didn't meet Glenn when I first found the survivor camp, he returned later on that day from gathering supplies in Atlanta. His stories made me overwhelmingly grateful that I didn't even try to hit the big city. I've only been there once in my life and that was when my mother was giving birth to Rose in the hospital.

Rose told me about her day with glee in her voice, explaining how Shane took her, Carl, and Sophia to the quarry to try and catch frogs. I frowned at the thought of Rose not being watched by either Lori and Carol, but I smiled and nodded in attempt to be excited about her story. They didn't catch anything, no surprise there, but I gave her false hope about maybe catching some next time.

"I was going to try and read some to pass time, but Dale's RV is filled with crappy novels, so I ended playing with Ripley and Rose." Glenn chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck as he spoke with me. I laughed as well as I heard about Dale's collection from the other campers and I figured out the truth once I rummaged through them myself yesterday.

"I'll show you my collection." I looked both ways before speaking, making sure no one was in earshot, and whispered to Glenn. His expression was confused, but he smiled and followed me to my van.

My dad had a rather extensive gun collection, but I had a collection of my own. After popping the hatch and opening my trunk, I pulled out a box that was buried under a few supplies. The box was large and heavy, but I was able to lift it on my own. Glenn was unsure at first, but he bent down and slowly opened the cardboard lid, revealing nothing but books. It was hard to choose between my wide collection and I ended up leaving quite a few behind, but this box contained the best of the best, or so that was my opinion of my own collection.

"Wow." Glenn mumbled, going through the collection, "Why do you have some many books?"

"I like to read." I stated simply, grinning like an idiot to finally see someone astonished at my prized valuables. This box could have been filled with more important and vital supplies, but I didn't want to enter such a hellish world without something to enjoy, something to escape reality with, and I was glad I did.

"Heh, no kidding." Glenn laughed and finally found a small novel that caught his interest, "Can I borrow this?"

I examined the book, making sure it wasn't one of my all time favorites. It was a simple, beginner's sci-fi fictional novel. It wasn't the greatest book in my mind, but it still was a good read. I should have known Glenn would have picked something out like that. I nodded and searched for another book I remembered bringing along, it was similar to the book in Glenn's hand, but I thought it was better and more exciting.

"You can read this one too, but you have to bring them back. No matter what." I said, my voice turning more serious at the end. He caught my double meaning. I didn't just mean for him to return them, but for him to survive in order to return them in one piece. He nodded, giving me a half smile, and walked back with me to camp.

Glenn was insanely brave for making his solo trips to Atlanta and back, that was something I didn't have the courage to do. I haven't been faced with many walkers, I've only seen the handful at my parents farm and only killed one with my bat. An entire city of walkers, that was something I never wanted to see. There was also talk going around in camp about bringing a group to Atlanta to gather more supplies, I sincerely hope I wouldn't be volunteered to go.

After showing off my book collection, I wanted nothing more than to settle down with a book, but I didn't. Instead, I continuously practice with my bow. Simply pulling back the string and releasing it without an arrow. I stood behind my van, I didn't want to practice in the middle of camp because I thought of myself looking weird and everyone staring at me. Rose accompanied me, slipping away from studying with the other kids, and she was listening to some CDs while sitting in the passenger's seat with Ripley.

I realized I hadn't seen Merle or Daryl all day since morning, but I heard from Amy that the only reason they kept those brothers around was because of their hunting skills. Other than Glenn and the women I had laundry duty with, I didn't really associate with the other survivors. I only went to Shane if there was something important, Dale made me feel awkward, and Jim didn't really speak to me as well as the other campers. I didn't mind too much though, I was already growing attached to my small group of 'friends'.

* * *

The sun was beginning to set but there was still enough daylight to wander around camp without feeling scared. I ceased my training and packed away my bow, thinking now would be a good time to wash up. The heat had been extreme and my jacket was stowed away. Throughout the day I was constantly sweating from the heat, and I was probably starting to smell bad. I grabbed the necessary stuff, like the shampoos and body wash along with an extra pair of clothes, and ordered Rose to stay in camp with Carol or Lori. Once she left, I signaled for Ripley to follow as I started for the quarry.

There was a certain spot where most bathed and I usually felt safer with someone else around, but I didn't have to courage to ask someone like Amy or Andrea to join me. So, it was just Ripley and me. I had to be quick before all the sunlight vanished and I would have to stumbled through the woods in the dark to get back to camp. I let down my hair, it was starting to feel gross from the lack of washing but that feeling would be over soon. Just as I was about to lift my shirt up, Ripley jolted up from his spot on the ground with his ears pricked and his fangs barred. He growled viciously and I automatically thought it was a walker, but I called out to make sure.

"W-Whose there?" My voice quivered with panic and fear, feeling stupid for not bring a weapon with me. If it was a walker, my only hope of surviving was that it didn't know how to swim.

However, the figure emerging from the woods was a human that was alive, but after recognizing who it was, I much rather it had been a walker. Merle Dixon was standing before me and my stomach dropped. He was stumbling but was able to kept himself standing upright. The bottle in his hand and the reek of alcohol emitting from him made it obvious that he was drunk and that his intentions weren't good.

I stepped back as he inched forward, my bare feet touched the cool water as he was getting closer. I attempted to escape by slipping past him, but his hand grabbed my wrist and threw me against a rock. I heard Ripley growling and barking, but was silenced by Merle with a swift kick to the side.

"Ripley!" I called out his name but a hand covered my mouth and the stench of dirt and alcohol flooded my nostrils. I assumed the reasons I hadn't seen either of the Dixon brothers for most of the day was because they were helping out the camp by hunting, not getting drunk and waiting for the right moment to prey on someone while they were alone.

"Hey, about you an' me go off on our on, eh?" Merle's voice was slurred and his eyes were glazed with something I wasn't quite familiar with, "I'd take good care of ya and Rose. Whadda say?"

Lust filled his eyes and was intensified by the alcohol. I kept on wondering, why me? Amy was much prettier than I was, I had more pounds than her and wasn't as femininely dressed. Andrea was gorgeous as well, but it was me who ended up being preyed on? I couldn't understand why, but then it suddenly made sense. I was alone. Amy had her older sister protecting her along with Dale guarding them from the top of the RV, Lori was under the careful watch of Shane, and Carol had a not too friendly husband that would probably snapped if another man looked at her. All I had was a dog and a ten year old sister. I was an easy target.

"Stop." I whimpered, but it was just a muffled noise underneath his hand.

"Listen, since this whole world gon' to shit recently, I haven't been laid in awhile, think ya can help me out, girly." His breath burned the side of my cheek with his hand now brushing my hair softly and the other still holding on to my wrist tightly.

I could wiggle away, violently struggle and attempt to attack him even though I was defenseless. But my body wouldn't move, froze in place by fear of being beaten or killed by this man.

I closed my eyes and hoped for the best.

* * *

**Leaving you all with a nice cliffhanger. Thank you for reading!  
**


	4. Friendship

**I'm so grateful for all the reviews, favorites, and follows I'm getting for this story. It means a lot! Anyway, here's chapter four!  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.**

* * *

_Diary of the Dead Days  
_

Part 1: Atlanta

**Chapter Four**  
_Friendship_

* * *

My breathing was ragged and my heart was beating fast, pure terror taking over and causing my mind go blank. Merle's hand rubbed against my cheek, it felt callous and rough. My eyes were shut tight as I wasn't able to look him in the face. My nostrils were beginning to burn as the reek of the liquor was starting to overwhelm my senses and tears formed underneath my shut eyes. I would have much rather been faced with a walker than this.

"Hey!" A voice hollered from the distance, "Hey!"

I couldn't exactly tell who it was, but as I opened my eyes, I saw Shane racing towards me. He was shirtless for some reason and had Lori following him closely behind, her blouse unbuttoned much more than usual. My mind was so clouded, I couldn't understand what those two were obviously doing outside of camp so late alone, but I didn't care. Help was help.

Merle released his grip, yelling obscenities towards the former police officer for ruining his 'good time'. I took the opportunity to make a break for it and check on Ripley, he wasn't injured but just shocked by the abuse from a human. Though his barks that were cut short, it was able to attract the attention of the couple near by. I embraced his neck tightly as Lori placed a hand my shoulder, and I felt her hands check my face and body for any harm. Lori sighed in relief, knowing they had came at the right time. Shane pointed his pistol towards Merle, who was probably beginning to threaten him out of drunken stupor.

"Whatever." I heard Merle growl, lifting his hands up, "Whatever!"

"You better stay away from her, ya hear?" Shane snapped, his gun still pointed at the drunk man.

"Whatever." He repeated. The empty bottle of booze was carelessly thrown to the ground and left there. Merle's stance was becoming more unstable, but he didn't make a move towards the cop.

I didn't stay to see how the scene unfolded, I didn't much care. Lori tried comforting me, but her words feel on deaf ears. All I wanted to do was lock myself in my van and cry while holding Ripley. The closeness of that situation shocked me to my core. The thought of what could have happened made me internally cringe. Most would resist, fight back with all their might while I just stood there, taking it like a wimp. I was pathetic. Is that what I'm going to do when I'm surrounded by walkers? Just stand there and take it? Not even attempt to fight for my life?

Once Lori and I made our way into camp, I heard Amy greet me with a friendly "hello", but I ignored her and continued to my van. I heard Lori's voice trying to make an excuse for me, saying I wasn't feeling well. That was an understatement. I locked all my doors, hoping Rose wouldn't come running after me to question my situation like she always did. I punched the steering wheel, barely missing the horn. I was disgusted with myself. If Shane and Lori hadn't been close by, would that have been my first time? Unwillingly with a man about the age of my father who was drunk while the dead where walking? That would have been nothing like I imagined it.

I had my share of a few boyfriends, two in middle school, when I tried to be social, and one in the beginning of high school. None of those relationships got passed kissing, but then again, the relationship in general didn't last long. I wasn't that into boys as I thought I was, all those romantic novels raised my standards to insane expectations and I ended up constantly let down. All of them ending by the fourth week by me. Thinking back, I regret that now. I would have gladly have any of them as my first than have Merle Dixon. Now since the crisis had hit, finding a boyfriend was more hopeless than before. That should have been my last concern. All I should care about now was only survival and protecting Rose and Ripley, though I couldn't help but feel like I had missed a major part of my life and regret lodged itself into my conscious.

My thoughts kept me busy from hearing the noises from outside my van. Shane and Merle had returned and the redneck still seemed to be in a drunken uproar. I heard Rose's footsteps as she reached the side of my window and peeked in. Her small knuckles knocked against the glass, requesting entrance like she use to do when I would lock myself in my room. I wanted to ignore her, but I unlocked the doors anyway.

"What's wrong? What happened?" Her voice was filled with worry and concern, maybe even a little panic. Even if I truthfully explained the situation, Rose wouldn't understand it. She never received the talk from our parents. I didn't either, but I learned my way through books and school, so my parents never talked to me about it.

"Merle tried eating Ripley." I lied, which was becoming a popular trend for me. It felt like every word I spoke to my little sister was a lie, I use to never lie to her. Whenever she had questioned me about our parents saying our first dog ran away, I told her the truth that he had died. She cried for days, but she learned how to cope with the feelings of death.

"No!" She yelled, face starting to turn red with anger, "I knew we couldn't trust him."

I forced myself to chuckle and tried reassuring her that it wouldn't happen again because Ripley taught him a lesson. She crawled into the van, getting ready for bed in the back seat while I remained in the front. I couldn't sleep, I kept thinking Merle would come back, but he didn't. However, when sleep finally hit, it had hit hard.

* * *

For the second day in a row, I was rudely awoke by the harsh knocking on my window. I groaned, feeling utterly exhausted. I gazed out my passenger side window to see Merle's younger brother glaring at me with hostility. I really couldn't tell if he was upset that I was late again or that I got his no good brother in trouble. Either way, I wasn't looking forward to his visit.

"What the hell?" He snapped as I sluggishly got of the van, "I was waitin' on you again. I'm startin' to wonder if you even want these damn lessons you asked for."

"Actually about that," I started, my voice becoming shaky, "I don't want you teaching me anymore."

"Are you serious." He sneered, "You're the one that asked me and its only been one day. I didn't want to teach a dumb shit like you, but I thought I'd be nice for once."

His menacing gaze scared me, but I wasn't backing down. After what happened the night before, I didn't want to look at Daryl either. They both were dangerous, and I didn't want to be alone outside of camp with Daryl. I thought having Ripley with me would keep me safe, but the poor dog had been silenced by a kick. Ripley was trained not to bite, so he wouldn't harm the cattle or my sister and me, so if Daryl had decided to attack me as well, Ripley would be at a loss. Taking lessons from him seemed to be too much of a risk.

"I'm sorry," I apologized but it didn't sound the least bit sincere, "I can learn on my own."

"No, you can't, you don't even know what the hell you're doing." Daryl growled, but then paused for a moment. This was the closest he ever been to my face, during all the other times he had kept a distance. His dark, blue eyes turned from annoyed to bearing resentment, "This is about my brother, isn't it?"

I wonder if the entire camp knew what had went down near the quarry, but Daryl probably received the knowledge from his brother. I could imagine them both laughing at me, laughing at how I was just going to let it happen, and how horrible of a shot I was. Imagining that scenario lit a fire in my belly, his presence suddenly angered me as my hate for Daryl grew in an instant. I honestly did want to learn how to shoot my bow, and Daryl seemed like the perfect teacher, but I could no longer bear the thought at looking at either of the Dixon brothers.

"Whatever, to hell with you." Daryl growled, taking my silence as an obvious yes, waving me off hatefully as he turned his back and headed for the woods.

My body was shaking with rage mixed in with regret. I had started to get use to his snarky comments, even finding the mild humor in them, and was looking forward to my next lesson before Merle went after me. I sighed with frustration, kicking the dirt underneath my sneakers. But, I knew I had to change the way I acted if I was going to survive in this hellish world. I needed to grow a backbone and not simply give in, and it started with learning how to shoot on my own.

* * *

Amy was in a fuss once I found her, she was worried about her sister. The group for Atlanta had left while I was sleeping. Glenn took Andrea, Jacqui, Merle, Morales, and T-Dog. I wasn't familiar with Morales and T-Dog but judging by the absent of faces within the camp, I noticed the hispanic and the hefty black guy was gone. When I heard Amy telling me that Merle had gone, I felt relieved. There was some guilt behind that relief, thinking what if the man actually died, but I kept that thought out of my head.

Rose was already with the other children, sharing the small amount of toys I allowed her to bring along with Sophia. Carl was obviously not as interested in playing with the dolls as the girls were, but he tried his best to cope with the toys Rose had shared. I couldn't help but smile at Rose. She use to be brat before all this mess happened. I remembered her first day of kindergarten, Rose was sent home early because she scratched and slapped other kids for playing with her toys and refused to share. She was also known to hit me a couple of times for touching her stuff, even when she was in the fourth grade.

I didn't praise her for her good behavior though, if Rose realized what she was doing, she'd surely turn sour again. I checked in with Lori, asking her if there was anything I could help with. She seemed like the one in charged of most of the cleaning duties, so that's why I turned to her. However, the way she acted with false authority and control of the other women's chores kind of irked me, but I kept a friendly face and kept my thoughts to myself.

"No, since we have all the clothes done for now. We can relax for a little bit." Lori smiled, but her voice was awkward. I couldn't tell if she was fully telling the truth or if she was giving me some slack because of what happened the other night. Either way, I didn't mind the extra time.

I was considering going off and training by myself, but I noticed Amy was quite distraught. I couldn't think of any words to say to comfort her and trying to tell her that her sister would come back safe seemed like it would just annoy her, so I thought I'd keep her busy. Once I pulled the bow out of my trunk, I approached her, her blue eyes gave me a very questionable look.

"When did you get that?" She inquired curiously, she appeared to be more interested than I was expecting.

"It was a present from my mom." I told her with a boast of pride, "You want to go shoot it with me?"

She hesitated for a moment, looking around nervously like she was worried her sister would be back at any second, and she wanted to be there when she returned. However, she smiled at me and agreed, accompanying me in the woods where my target was placed. She laughed at my picture of the walker, and I laughed with her, knowing my talent wasn't with drawing. I helped her with properly handling the bow, letting her to try her hand at shooting the target. Ripley was already with us, standing by as he waited to retrieve the arrows.

"When I was eight, my dad bought me my first fishing pole." Amy said as she released the drawstring, missing the target. She didn't pull it back correctly, using all her fingers instead of just her index and middle finger, but I didn't correct her, "He taught me how to fish the moment I was old enough."

"My mom wanted to teach me how shoot a bow, but it didn't happen." I felt awkward telling her this, but after hearing her tell me about herself, it seemed necessary to tell her more about me. Though, I was glad for the opportunity to open up to Amy.

"Why not?" She handed me the bow. My turn was next.

"I was being stubborn and stupid." I sighed, trying to aim it as best as I could with hopes of impressing her, but the arrow zoomed past the target, " I regret it now."

"What really happened to your parents?" The question caught me off guard, I didn't know that Amy was so forward. I was silent, my emotions fighting each other, I was trying my hardest not to break down like I did in front of Daryl. I cleared my throat before speaking.

"They killed themselves."

Our blue eyes meet, mine filled with sorrow and hers filled with empathy. She took a small step forward, like she was about to hug me or place a comforting hand on my shoulder, but she stopped. I had heard her and her sister talk about their parents. They had been out of town during the crisis, so there was some hope for them but not for me. In the back of my head, I had fantasies of them not choosing death and ending up finding a safe place, but the chances of that being reality were slim.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know." Amy apologized, but I tried putting on a smile. I wasn't going to cry.

"Don't say anything to Rose, she's not ready for this news."

"Yeah." She muttered, but I could tell she was torn about this news, "Does anyone else know?"

"No." I shook my head. It didn't say anything about Daryl knowing my situation as I didn't want to explain what had happened between us, knowing not too long ago she had warned me about both Dixon brothers. Though I planned on saving that conversation for later, hoping to get another chance to open up to Amy.

"I won't say anything, I promise." Her smile and concerned voice had comfort me, knowing I could trust her and I was glad I was able to finally tell someone the truth. I handed her my bow, giving her another chance at shooting the target.

* * *

When we returned to camp, the group hadn't came back yet and Amy became more panicked about her sister. I had tried to keep her busy as long as I could, we ended up shooting the bow some more, but it felt extremely awkward after our conversation and it had started raining, so we ended up going back. My aim wasn't improving and now I was very much regretting stopping my lessons with Daryl. I didn't see him when Amy and I returned and Shane said something about him going on a hunting trip. The former officer questioned why I was concerned, but I shrugged it off.

I was helping Lori and Carol with preparing tonight's dinner, which was more canned food. Rose was playing with Ripley, mentioning she had fun with Glenn yesterday. I wasn't sure how long a trip to gather supplies in Atlanta took but time seemed to drag on, and I began to worry.

"They should be back by now." Amy complained, her pacing back and forth started to make me dizzy as I watched her.

"I'm sure they are fine." Shane reassured her but after he spoke, the echoes of a car alarm sounded throughout the mountains. It's noise was high-pitched and loud, and a red sports car drove recklessly up the trail with a box truck catching up with it.

They were finally back.

* * *

**Chapter five will probably appear some time after thanksgiving but I'll try to update as soon as I can, thanks for reading!  
**


	5. Torn Apart

**I'm so sorry for the late update! I was planning on updating maybe two days after Thanksgiving but since its near exams, I've been having a lot of school work to do. But, I hope all you guys had a wonderful Thanksgiving, mine was pretty fun! And thanks for the reviews, they mean a lot! Anyway, I might continue to be a little slow until exams are over.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.**

* * *

_Diary of the Dead Days_

Part 1: Atlanta

**Chapter Five  
**_Torn Apart_

* * *

Glenn jumped out the bright red sports car that he had parked in front of camp, the enormous grin on his face had shown the thrill of the ride. The painful screeching of the alarm disturbed me, the constant loud sound would surely draw walkers near the camp. Jim was able to kill the alarm quickly, while Shane started scolding Glenn.

"Are you trying to draw every walker to our location." Shane growled, Glenn tried defending himself but was clearly at a lost for words due to the menacing glare from the former police officer looming over him.

Dale had stepped in, reassuring Shane that because of the mountains, the walkers might not be able to pin point the exact source of the noise. That didn't settle my nerves at all, but it had calmed some of the other survivors. Though if they couldn't exactly find our campsite, the alarm would still draw them near the hills where they would eventually find us.

The box truck that had followed closely behind Glenn halted to a stop, Andrea was one of the first to jump out of the back and she instantly raced after her little sister. Amy cried out for her, relieved beyond belief as she hugged Andrea tightly. Their closeness and affection for each other made me smile, hoping one day Rose and I could be the same. Morales raced towards his family, happily reuniting with them as well. I glanced over towards Lori and Carl, like every one else, they gathered around the group that had returned. Disappointment was clearly present on the little boy's face and Lori tried comforting him as best she could.

Rose had told me about Carl one night, his dad was a police officer with Shane but he died before the outbreak had occurred from being shot. I stood close to Rose and I could tell she felt bad him, I squeezed her shoulder to reassure her. My attention was so focused on Carl that I hadn't heard the others speak of the new guy who had helped them get out of Atlanta. Then suddenly, I saw the boy's face light up with surprise and sheer happiness.

"Dad!" He yelled at the top of his lungs, sprinting towards the man exiting the driver's seat.

I jerked my head, watching both Lori and Carl ran up to a man dressed in uniform with a stunned look in his eyes. He embraced his son, dropping to the ground with both of them crying. The rest of the survivors looked at the faithful reunion in front of them. I noticed Carol wiping away strays tears, and I myself felt my eyes get watery. For the first this since the world had gone to hell, my tears were tears of joy.

* * *

Like usual, the campfire was nothing but red flickering embers, emitting hardly any heat. The days were brutally hot but the nights were chilly. Rose was wrapped up in the blanket with me as we sat beside Amy and Andrea, listening to the newcomer's story. His name was Rick Grimes, and I couldn't began to understand his feelings of waking up to such a horror. Glenn made a comment of him riding into Atlanta on a horse, reminding me of our old farm and the number of horses we had. Most were devoured as the walkers started to attack our livestock, but I remember saying goodbye to the few that were still alive. My heart was heavy as I left them to die, but there wasn't much else I could do.

Sooner or later, the absence of Merle had became known. He had endangered the rest of the group and Rick had to take action, he handcuffed the redneck to a pipe on top the roof. I couldn't deny the fact that I was relieved that he hadn't returned and those thoughts made me feel guilty. Even though he deserved everything coming to him, being trapped like an animal was no way for someone to die, not even Merle.

"So, what do we tell Daryl?" Dale spoke what was on everyone's mind. The youngest Dixon brother hadn't yet returned from his hunting trip, oblivious to fate of his brother.

"Can't we just lie to him?" Amy said. The same thoughts crossed my mind, I've been lying to Rose so long that telling the truth didn't seem right anymore. It would be easier to tell Daryl his brother got killed by a walker instead of him being left for dead. I was going to back up Amy's plan, but her sister spoke up instead.

"We can't lie." Andrea pointed out, shooting her sister a disappointed look. I sighed, knowing Amy would go with whatever Andrea said and my comments would now be useless.

"I'll tell him." Rick offered, "I was the one who handcuffed him."

"I dropped the key," T-Dog countered. He had been messing with his hands all night, guilt emitting from him as he couldn't stop thinking about the man he left behind. I didn't understand why they were so concern about Merle, but I harbored ill feelings towards him ever since I'd first met him. I held my tongue, as I knew I didn't have the courage to go against the groups feelings.

* * *

A scream of pure terror echoed throughout the camp, my eyes darted everywhere in search of Rose, but I couldn't find her. Ripley was looking around with suspicion and a low growled emitted from throat, causing me to panic and another scream soon then followed. I had been helping Carol with folding some of the clothes, enjoying her company. I raced with the others to the source of the screams as I remembered Rose had gone off with Carl to explore. They might be in danger.

Neither of them were hurt, but the sight in front of me had made my belly churn with sickness. It was a walker bent over a deer, devouring its insides greedily. Rose was crying and I held her close, but the walker was too distracted by its current meal to immediately attack us. Rick, Shane, Glenn, and Jim had pushed past us with weapons in hand, beating down the walker. I shoved Rose's face into my side, not wanting her to witness the violence. Lori held Carl as well and Amy and Andrea also went to investigate what was happening. Dale approached behind them carrying an axe and dealt the final blow, decapitating the walker's head.

"They never come up this far." Dale remarked. Looking closer, I noticed arrows piercing the deer's side and it wasn't long until Daryl emerged from the woods.

"Damn," He cursed, checking out the deer he had been tracking, "Damn walker got my kill."

I felt awkward in his presence, even more so as we all knew the truth about his brother and Daryl was still clueless. Since the deer was inedible because the walker had been gnawing it, he left the pile of meat to rot, walking past us into camp. I felt him give me a sideways look before snickering at me, assuming I was unsuccessful with my bow training. What he did irked me, even though he was dead on.

"Merle!" He called out his brother's name, placing the squirrels he had manage to kill near his tent, "Merle?"

Everyone seemed to be watching the hunter carefully and he noticed all eyes were on him. It felt like an intervention by the way we crowded around him, waiting for him to react. I could tell he felt trapped, eyes darting around everywhere looking for an escape route.

"Merle didn't make it back." Shane finally spoke, arms crossed with a grim expression.

"Did he died?" He didn't sound concerned, like he was asking about some stranger on the news being in an accident. His expression was hard, constant and not changing as he awaited for Shane to finish speaking. Rick stepped in and told Daryl the truth.

"We left him, I handcuffed him to the roof." I kept my eyes on Daryl, waiting for the moment he would snap. The news didn't make sense at first, he paced around vigorously thinking about what he had just heard. Daryl reminded me of a wild animal, it would be any second now before he would attack. I felt my stance tense up, thinking that if something were to happen I'd jump in. That was foolish thought, I wouldn't be able to do anything if I tried stopping him, and the two in front of him were the best suited to deal with this situation, police officers.

"You did what?" His voice cracked slightly, dirty hands rubbing his eyes. He moved towards both Rick and Shane, pulling a knife from out his pocket and lunging at them. That was the moment he snapped. I felt myself lurch forward, even Ripley did the same as a small bark escaped from his mouth.

Rick was able to deal with the situation with ease, disarming Daryl in an instant as Shane locked him tightly in a sleeper hold. Daryl's breathing was labored, the wild look in his eyes still present as Rick bent down requesting a calm discussion.

"I'm going back." Rick said, "Merle is still alive."

As soon as Daryl had calmed down, Shane released him but kept his guard up. T-Dog also spoke up, claiming he dropped the only key down a pipe. He volunteered to accompany Rick and Daryl back to Atlanta to rescue Merle. Glenn was also going back as well by the request of Rick's help. I noticed the look of displeasure on Lori's face as her husband was going to leave her again. I couldn't believe they were planning on going back for him, telling the truth was one thing but risking everything to save him was another.

"We should just leave him there, he wasn't doing us any good anyway." The words escaped from my mouth before I had a chance to stop myself. During that short time when Daryl was teaching me how to shoot my bow, I had grown use to speaking to him without analyzing every word before I spoke. I was still shy around him, but my aggravation caused my fear of speaking to be forgotten. That's why I tried keeping my mouth shut most of the time and tried not getting comfort with people because I would end up saying the wrong things and regretting it.

He glared at me, approaching me with his fist clenched. I heard Rick and Shane shuffle closer behind, making sure he didn't try to hurt me. If he didn't hate me before, he surely did now. He stopped, looming over me with a menacing gaze. I returned his glare, trying my best not to look away and attempted to keep my body still as it was shaking uncontrollably.

"That's my brother." He snarled.

Ripley's tails was lashing furiously, he wasn't sure what to do and he whimpered, trying to move in front of me. Daryl snickered, walking away from me. Never before had I started shaking so badly because of someone looking at me. I swallowed the knot in my throat and turned away, I wasn't sure were I was going but I didn't want to stay here. Ripley followed me. I heard Rose trying to go after me but Amy stopped her, telling her I needed some space.

* * *

I kept myself busy, practicing the pull of my bow at the bottom of the quarry. I was worried about Glenn, he didn't seemed pleased that he was asked to go but did it anyway. Rick was grateful to him as Glenn was the one who saved him from certain death, so I was sure that Rick wouldn't let him die so easily. But I was still worried. He had promised me he would return my books and I kept him to that.

Amy was the one who found me later saying her and the others were getting ready to wash the final load of dirty clothes for the week. She asked if I wanted to join and I accepted, following her to the shore. I told Ripley to go back, hopefully he would find Rose and keep her company. The others asked about my bow as I placed it beside me, I simply told them it had been a present. My tone made it obvious that I didn't want to talk about it, and they didn't press the subject. We chatted about other things as we worked.

"I miss my laptop and texting." Amy sighed.

"Yeah." I agreed, "I miss taking a shower everyday."

She giggled and everyone agreed with me. I couldn't help but feel Ed, Carol's husband, watching our every move as he lazily smoked his cigarette. Jacqui glanced over at him, but didn't say anything. We kept talking about the things we missed the most of our past lives. I tried not thinking about it too much as it was starting to depress me, all those things we took for granted are gone now. Amy handed me another shirt and I dipped in the water, scrapping it against the board.

"I miss my vibrator." Andrea suddenly said, grinning. It took me a moment to realized what she meant, I blushed at her comment while the others chuckled. Carol looked around before speaking.

"Me too." She added. We all laughed, it felt nice to be able to laugh with everyone. But that fun was cut short as Ed approached us.

"Whats so funny." His tone wasn't friendly and he wasn't looking for a conversation.

"Just swapping war stories, Ed." Andrea chuckled, not intimidated by his presence. He ordered us to get back to work, saying it wasn't time for fun. His words irked me but I didn't say anything. I saw the bruises clearly present on Carol's skin, knowing he didn't care whether he hit a woman or not. Andrea, being the bravest out of us all, stood up confronting him. She argued about him just sitting around doing nothing while all the women were doing the work.

Everything went in a fast motioned blur. In the corner of my eye, Shane was approaching and seen Ed hitting Carol. I'm not sure what possessed the man to hit his wife as the argument progressed where he threatened Andrea. Shane had came racing up, being in the right spot once again, but he went overboard. He repeatedly punched Ed in the face, not appearing as if he was about to let up. Carol cried for him to stop but Andrea and I held her back until Shane finally came to his senses.

"If I ever see you putting your hands on anybody in this camp, next time I will not stop." Shane snarled, leaving him as Carol rushed to her husband's side.

* * *

The following night was a night I'd never forget. Since the group that had left for Atlanta to find Merle and the bags of guns that Rick mentioned, everything had been normal. They were late, however. Everyone was worried they might not make it back, but as the sun disappeared and the night took over, we all settled down at the campfire to eat. Amy and Andrea had went fishing earlier, bringing back plenty of dinner. Fish wasn't my favorite food, but I didn't care. We feasted that night, laughing as we told each other stories.

Ed was sulking in his tent alone because of his encounter with Shane, so for once Carol and Sophia had joined us at the main fire. Rose was laughing with Sophia and Carl, talking about how they wanted to learn to fish. Ripley laid next to where I was sitting, I felt his coarse fur rubbing against my arm. I placed my hand on his head, patting him softly as he chewed on his share of fish. Next to me, Amy got up and started to head towards the RV.

"Where are you going?" Andrea inquired.

"To the bathroom." She rolled her eyes, "So much for being discrete."

Another wave of chuckling erupted from our joyful group, I smiled, it was rare for everyone to be so happy. Though, deep down, I could tell everyone was worried about the Atlanta group. They should have been back hours ago, but there had been no sight of them. I was starting to wonder if they were ever coming back. My stomach twisted in guilt, feeling bad for the anger I harbored against Daryl. If I were in his situation, I'd try my hardest to get my sister back even if the rest of the group didn't want her. I quietly prayed for their return.

Suddenly, I felt Ripley jerk up from underneath my hand. A viciously growl emitted from deep within his throat. Everyone quieted down as Ripley growls grew louder and more fierce, he was standing on all fours with his hackles raised and teeth bared. His wasn't growling at anything in particular but my eyes grew wide. A horrified, pain induced scream verified what I was worried about.

"Walkers!" I yelled, the loudest my voice had been in weeks.

"Amy!" Andrea screamed in terror.

Amy had just exited the RV, a walker had surprised her by digging its teeth into the flesh of her forearm as she was the one who screamed earlier. Looking over, I seen another bite down on her neck. Screams sounded from every direction as walkers began to pour into camp. I've never seen so many before all in one place. My first instinct was to shove Rose behind me, shielding her as much as possible, and Ripley stood his ground near me.

"Get down!" Shane hollered, firing off a loud round of his shotgun, shooting walkers in the head.

Everything was a blur, but I managed to find a baseball bat. I wasn't sure whose it was but it hadn't been the one I brought along, all my weapons were stored away in the van. The one night I would need them, I locked them away instead of keeping them close to me. Rose was crying, fearing possible death. I wasn't strong so I kept close to Lori and Carl who were behind Shane. The stench of rotting flesh was almost unbearable but my senses were overpowered by pure adrenaline.

I felt a set of hands as it pulled at my ponytail with a strong grip. I screamed in pain, it felt like my hair was going to be ripped off my scalp. More gunshots were fired, though it wasn't only Shane's shotgun. The others had arrived, loaded with more weapons. I suddenly felt the grip release its self, a bullet zoomed past my head and hit the walker trying to catch me in the skull. My back felt wet with its blood, but I carried on. Another one was approaching from the other side, making its way towards Ripley who kept barking. I swung my bat as hard as I could against the walkers head, managing to force to the ground. I continuously hit until I saw the contents of its brain pouring out on the earth.

Gunshots continuously fired until all the walkers were shot down. The screams died away too. Scanning the area, I saw many bodies and not all of them belonged to walkers. I found myself on the ground, shaking as my adrenaline was wearing off and I came crashing back down to my weak self. The feeling of Rose's arms wrapping around me made me feel a great sense of relief, knowing she was still alive. Ripley too, his fur brushed against my arm as he sat protectively beside me.

"Amy!" Andrea screamed out, sobbing uncontrollably. I saw my friend lying dead on the ground, her neck mutilated by the walkers.

I'd never forget the feeling of complete, utter helplessness and primal fear of that night.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! I hope to see some more reviews because I always love reading them! Sorry if this chapter seemed a little rushed, I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as I can ~**


	6. Opting Out

**I'm sorry you guys that it took me awhile to update this one! I'm in the middle of exam week and I have been worrying about school, but here lately I've had a sudden urge of inspiration to write some more. Anyway, I bet you are all sad as I am that TWD season 3 is in its mid-season hiatus, I've been so Walking Dead deprived that I need to write more!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.**

* * *

_Diary of the Dead Days_

Part 1: Atlanta

**Chapter Six  
**_Opting Out_

* * *

The following day had been just a blur in my mind as my hands held tightly on the steering wheel of the mini van. Our intentions had been to head for Fort Benning though Rick Grimes had talked about the rumored CDC within Atlanta, which was a lot closer than the military outpost but was more of a risk. The rest of the survivor's were unsure which path to go, however, I had been indifferent about the decision. My mind was clouded with bloody images from the night before. Shane had been dead set on the fort, but his close friend had somehow changed his mind. I wasn't sure how many knew the truth about Shane and Lori's affair, but I never spoke a word of what I saw.

It was near to impossible to sleep that night, so I didn't and neither did Rose. We laid awake, holding each other in the van with all the doors locked and jerking at every noise we heard. When the sun finally rose, my head was in immense pain. The walker that grabbed my ponytail nearly torn my scalp off, no damage had been done but it was extremely sore. I wasn't able to see who shot the walker trying to kill me, but I was eternally grateful to whoever did. However, my lack of sleep was beginning to affect me as I keep rubbing my eyes and slapping my cheek to keep myself awake behind the wheel.

We suffered a great deal of losses, our camp was nearly halved. Ed and Jim had died during the attack, their deaths didn't faze me as well as the other faces I didn't recognize, which created guilt within me as we buried their bodies. The only death that affected me the most was Amy, gazing at her and her sister had made my heart ache. Andrea put Amy down herself, when her little sister started stirring with the deadly virus in her veins, Andrea pulled the trigger. Her sobs still haunted me.

We were driving down the road, towards Atlanta to find the CDC that Rick was so hopeful for. My hands kept shaking, Atlanta was the last place I wanted to go to, but my fear for the future did a good job of keeping me awake. Though after being ambushed by all those walkers, I didn't want to see another one for a long time. Rose was shuffling in the backseat, coloring pages with her crayons, while Ripley sat in the passenger's seat beside me with his tail wagging.

"Is mom and dad safe?" I heard Rose call out, "What if a group of walkers got them?"

"I'm sure they are fine." I lied through my teeth.

I knew one day I would have to tell Rose the truth, though I kept avoiding the topic. Part of me had hoped she would eventually forget about it, but that was never going to happen. Every night, I would hear Rose pray about our parents, asking for them to be safe and happy. Each day, I felt even more terrible for keeping the truth from her, but I had been lying for so long, it would make telling the truth even worse. I sighed, looking in my rear view mirror at the vehicles behind me. Rick was driving Carol's station wagon, and I was following the RV.

The Morales family had separated from us, heading the opposite way to be with other family they had. I had bitterly watched them go, knowing I had no family to search for. Even if I did, I didn't have the courage to depart from the group. I felt safe with them.

* * *

It wasn't long until we parked our vehicles in front of the CDC building, its large complex was shut off from the rest of the world as all the entrances were locked and covered with shutters. Bodies upon bodies laid in front of the structure. Hardly any walkers roamed around the building but as night began to fall, I'm sure more would show up.

"Stay close." Rick ordered as we all grouped together.

I had my metal baseball bat clutched in my hands with my sister and Ripley closest to me. My back was pressed against Carol's as she guided her daughter along beside us. Rick led us between the piles of dead, unmoving bodies. Shane, armed with a shotgun, flanked the right side, while Glenn guarded the left. Daryl brought up the rear, his weapon a crossbow instead of a gun. We reached the entrance, but there was no way to get in.

"Hey, let us in!" Rick yelled at the camera, waving his free arm towards the device.

I gulped, my eyes darting around as the sun began to set and more walkers started noticing our presence. Rose let out a meek cry and Ripley whimpered along with her. My heart started pounding as Rick began slamming his hand against the metal of the stutters.

"No one is in there." Shane hissed, pulling his friends away but Rick wouldn't give up.

We started drifting away from the doors, but Rick wouldn't budge as he kept knocking on the glass and the stutters, calling out to the camera. I wanted to stay but as more walkers began to show interest, we couldn't stand our ground much longer.

"You're killing us!" Rick screamed, agony in his voice.

"I'm scared." Rose cried as I held her tighter. I was the last of the group that stayed closest to the door, but as I was about to give up hope and race towards our cars.

Then the gates opened …

* * *

The man behind the camera was named Jenner. For us to stay, we had to submit a blood test. My face grew pale when he put out the syringe, but I tried my best to stay still when he pricked me with the needle. After it was confirmed that we all passed his blood test, he allowed us to stay in the compound. The presence of a dog had surprised Jenner immensely, but he rubbed Ripley behind the ears and had commented on how he was a brave dog.

It felt awkward being near Daryl, especially after all what had happened between us. He didn't pay me any attention, but it seemed like he was purposely avoiding me. I regretted saying those things to him. Mainly about his brother and how we should've left him behind. I promised myself that later I would personally apologize to him, hopefully regaining those archery lessons and make him no longer hate me.

We feasted that night, most drank wine and liquor. I only had a few sips of wine, enjoying the burning sensation of the alcohol in my mouth. I didn't drink, only a few times before the outbreak occurred, and I never been drunk. Carl was offered some wine, he took a small sip and instantly regretted it. Rose wanted to jump on the bandwagon too, but end up not wanting to drink it after smelling the spirit. Everyone laughed at her disgusted face as she placed the glass down. Jenner obviously didn't have any dog food laying around, so Ripley was fed table scraps and had a small bowl of water.

"Drink some more!" Glenn laughed, pouring more liquor in my wine glass. He hadn't had much but his face was starting to get red. I wasn't planning on getting drunk like Glenn, but I took a few more sips of what he poured me.

Everyone was having a good time until Shane abruptly questioned the doctor of what had happened here. His gaze was serious and quite unfriendly.

"Most fled to see their families," Jenner explained with a grim expression, "Others opted out. Killing themselves because they couldn't make it out the door."

My chest began hurting, my mind instantly thinking back to my parents. Rose was obviously unaffected by his explanation, she continued eating her meal and wasn't really listening to the conversation. I looked around, thinking everyone's eyes were on me, but they weren't as everyone was looking to Jenner. Though, I noticed Daryl glancing at me for a second. I stared down at my lap, biting my lower lip.

"You are such a buzz kill." Glenn sighed, taking another chug of his drink.

* * *

The doctor shown us where we would be staying, mentioning the rec room was down the hall and to go easy on the hot water. My eyes widened at the mention of being able to shower. It was one of the luxuries I've missed most of my old life. I let Rose go first. She hadn't took long, knowing how much I enjoyed bathing. Once she left to go to the rec room with Carl and Sophia, I turned on the hot water.

Bathing in the quarry wasn't all bad, after the first shock of cold water, it slowly got warmer the longer you stayed in there. But, it was nothing compared to the warmth of the shower. Ripley fur was started to get matted, so I bathed him as well. I didn't bother giving him a separate shower, washing him along with myself. The German Shepherd was pleased with the heat of the water, his tail constantly wagging.

After drying myself off and attempting to dry Ripley before he shook the water off himself, I changed into a clean pair of pajamas that I stashed in the bag I carried into the CDC. It felt nice being clean and wearing a fresh pair of clothes, but I couldn't help but frown. Jenner's words shocked me into remembering my parent's suicide. I didn't fully forget them, that would never happen, but I was starting to accept their deaths. However, hearing about the outbreak of suicides depressed me. His words made it sound like my parents were cowards that couldn't handle this world and it angered me.

I found Rose with the others in the rec room, leaving Ripley behind as he got cozy on one of the couches in our room. The walls were covered with shelves that were packed tight with books, I felt my eyes widen at the collection, noticing some books I had already read and others I haven't seen before.

"I wonder if I can take some?" I said to myself, picking up an interesting fictional novel. I was on the other side of the room, by myself browsing the books while Rose was with the other kids playing a board game. I couldn't help but still think about my parents and even Amy, her death was something I hadn't expected.

I had been so lost in thought, I hadn't realized the book slipping from my hand and it dropping on the floor, barely missing my foot. As I picked up the book, I noticed boots approaching me. I gazed upwards, slowly standing up.

It was Daryl.

I wasn't sure how to react to his presence, but I'm sure I must have looked awkward as I shoved the book back on the shelf. I had missed the slot and had to repeatedly push it in until the book fit properly once more. He questioningly gazed at me and his intentions were impossible to read, but the way he tilted his head upward and pursed his lips made it seem like he was judging me. I glanced down, noticing to half empty bottle of wine in his hand. I immediately thought of Merle. I had heard the group was too late, they found Merle's hand lying near the pipe where he was handcuffed. He probably used the saw from the abandoned box of tools to cut himself free and escaped.

"You alright?" Daryl said, he didn't sound concern but I was taken aback by his question.

"I'm fine." I hesitated before I spoke, confused.

"Don't give me that bullshit, I saw your face when that doctor talked about the others opting out." His words made me cringe and I looked over to where Rose was. She was in earshot, but her attention was mainly focused on the board game they had found. Rose was concentrated on winning, if she lost, they would figure out how much of a sore loser she was.

"He talked like they were cowards. My parents weren't cowards." I hissed, lowering my tone so the others wouldn't hear. He snickered, rolling his eyes.

"Hmph, they seem like a bunch of shitty parents leaving two kids in a world like this." He took a swig of the bottle, but thankfully, he didn't seem as drunk as his older brother had been that night. The wine probably wasn't as strong as the gin Merle had been drinking.

"I'm not a kid." I narrowed by eyes, furiously at his comment. I wanted to yell at him for saying such things about my parents but the words weren't forming, and I just bit my bottom lip, "They were good parents, I was just a crappy kid." That was all I managed to say. It irked me how he knew nothing about them and were judging them so harshly.

"Whatever." Daryl said, "I don't care."

I turned towards the bookcase, trying to give him a hint that I wanted to be left alone. All my memories and all the things I regretted were flooding my mind as my self-hatred grew stronger. Daryl gulped down the last bit of wine. I wanted to apologize for being so inconsiderate about his brother, but I couldn't form the right words, and I was suddenly becoming conscious about my pajamas (my bottoms had cartoon puppies on them). My face was getting hot, both from being angry at myself and embarrassment. I felt like an idiot every time I was near this guy and the way he talked to me didn't help. Daryl was getting ready to turn to leave, I opened my mouth trying to force out an apology, but he looked back at me.

"Oh, and you're welcome for savin' your ass at camp." He said, "That walker was about to rip your ponytail off."

That was him? I had imagined in my mind that it was either Rick or Glenn that had saved me, but it didn't occur to me that Daryl might have been the one to pull the trigger.

"I told you, you can't handle yourself and you don't know what your doin'." Daryl sneered, making it obvious that he thought I was weak. Though his words made me smile, for some strange reason, I thought he hated me but there was someone looking out for me. At first, I wanted him gone like most of the other campers had, but I summoned all of my courage to ask for lessons, and he didn't seem so bad. Though after what his brother tried to do, I began to loathe him but if it wasn't for him, I'd be dead.

"Thanks." I smiled, interrupting his rambling of how useless I was. My words seemed to take him by surprise and he gave me a questioning stare.

"Yeah, whatever." He mumbled.

"Lily," I heard a familiar voice hiss from across the room, I glanced over and saw Lori approaching us. I hadn't noticed her entrance, "What's going on?"

Lori had been with Shane that day, when Merle had been drunk and the look in her eyes made it seem very obvious she thought of the younger brother the same. Her seething glares didn't go unnoticed by Daryl, but he ignored them. Thinking about it, his approach did seem quite suspicious and the fact we were alone made it worse. I hadn't realized Carol had already rounded up the kids for bed.

"Nothing." I knew Lori was looking out for me, but I couldn't help feel an odd bit of disappointment. Daryl had turned his heel and left, not even bothering to speak to her. He could tell why she interrupted us, and that fact might have irked him. A hand was placed on my shoulder as I met Lori's brown eyes that were filled with concern.

"Was he bothering you?" She asked with caution.

"No." I adverted my eyes.

Once Shane entered the room, I immediately left as the atmosphere turned even more awkward. Part of me believed I should have stayed, knowing full well that the immense reek of alcohol was a tall tale sign that Shane was drunk and wasn't looking for a civilized conversation. However, Lori mentioned that I should check up on Rose and I didn't bother to offer to stay.

My little sister was already wrapped up in three layers of blankets and had a fort of pillows surrounding her on the couch. I softly chuckled to myself, glad she left me a blanket and at least one pillow. Rose always liked to be snuggled up and warm while she slept. The cot on the floor was welcoming and I immediately dove under the cover and held it tightly against me, stretching out my body across the floor. Ripley settled next to me, but I ended up wrapping him up in my blanket and holding him close. It felt good to let my guard down and have a restful sleep for once. I breathed in the comforting scent of Ripley's fur, thankful that the wash I gave him earlier had rid him of his stench.

"Goodnight." I murmured to both my sister and my loyal companion, thankful for being able to have them with me.

Sleep had came quickly, my dreams were inviting memories of the past. Simplistic things like having breakfast with my family, helping with chores, and even reading a book while sitting on the front porch, enjoying the breeze.

It was pleasant.

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**I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Please leave me some reviews because I love reading every single one. I'm not entirely sure the next time I'll be able to update, but it should be before Christmas. Thanks for reading!**


	7. Fifteen Minutes

**Sorry for the short chapter, but this is basically a wrap up of part one. Enjoy!  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.**

* * *

_Diary of the Dead Days_

Part 1: Atlanta

**Chapter Seven**  
_Fifteen Minutes_

* * *

The next morning, I didn't wake with start nor did I sleep in. The feeling of Ripley's paw shoved against my cheek and his tail hitting my leg every now and then made me stir. My dreams last night almost tricked me into believing everything that had previously happened was just some nightmare, but I was sadly mistaken. I stretched my stiff limbs in an attempt to rid myself of this heavy nostalgic feeling and glanced over, noticing my sister was still asleep. Ripley was already awoken by my movements and yawned in my face, greeting me with horrible dog breath. Rubbing the sleepiness out of my eyes, I headed for the kitchen area where we feasted last night after I quickly dressed myself.

I was greeted by T-Dog who offered me some powdered eggs, and I graciously accepted the food.

"I got some for Rose when she wakes up." He said, and I nodded, smiling.

Everyone was quite hung over, which made me glad that I didn't drink much last night. Glenn had his head down, clenching to his temples in pain while groaning. He swore he wasn't going to drink ever again. Everyone was slowly making their way into the kitchen, Shane grabbed a cup of coffee as he took his seat across from Rick. I noticed scratch marks along his lower cheek and neck.

"How did you get that scratch?" Rick inquired his friend.

"Must have done it in my sleep." His excuse seemed half-hearted to me, his dark eyes kept gazing in Lori's direction.

My attention was then brought to the sleepy Rose that approached the chair next to me, sitting down while rubbing her eyes. I grinned, trying to fix her messy mass of brown hair with my hands. T-Dog placed a plate of eggs down in front of her, Rose was about to complain but ceased as I lightly squeezed her forearm. Rose thanked him for the food and started eating, trying her hardest to hide her disgust for eggs. Ripley was fed the very few leftovers we had from last night. All the dog food that I had packed for Ripley was left in the van in front of the CDC, as well as my bow. I hadn't been able to practice for a long time, but if our current situation stays the same, I wouldn't have a need for the bow anymore. We were safe as we could be in the CDC.

As we were finishing our morning meal, Jenner had accompanied us. He mostly kept his distance, sipping on coffee and watching us in the threshold of the kitchen. All the time he spent in solitary in this underground facility, he must not be use to being around people. However, he motioned for our group to follow him to the control center. He said he had something to show us.

I stood with Rose near Carol and Sophia, gazing up at the screens in the control center where Jenner had led us. The center room had an ominous feel to it, it reminded me of some secret, evil lair of a villain in some of the books I read, mostly the generic si-fi novels. Displayed on the screen was a brain scan, label "Test Subject 19", I stared curiously at it while my little sister already seemed bored.

"This is TS-19," Jenner began explained, "This person was infected and allowed the process to be recorded."

We all watched as the virus began taking over the brain, causing it to go dark with death. Jenner had to fast forward through the video, taking it to the "second event" where the reanimation process occurred. Only the brain stem starts to light up, while the rest of the brain was nothing but darkness. Then a bullet shot through the skull, ending TS-19's life for good. Rose hadn't been paying much attention though the sound of the shot had made her jerk slightly, even though it was just a brain scan, the sight was quite disturbing. The room was filled with silence until Dale finally spoke.

"It has been bothering me since we got here, that timer on the wall has been counting down this entire time," Dale stated, "What happens when it reaches zero?"

"The basement generators will run out of fuel."

* * *

Jenner's words had haunted me, and the scientist took extra care to avoid our group even more, especially our questions. Rick took a few downstairs to check out the generators and I was eagerly awaiting their news. I had also noticed Andrea, she had been an emotion wreck since we had left our old campsite. Her eyes were puffy and her nose was running, I tried offering her some of the tissues I had found in the rec room but she refused and wandered off. Depression ate away at me, I so desperately wanted to comfort her, but my awkward attempts were probably starting to annoy her.

I ended up spending time with Rose with the other children and Carol in the rec room, searching through the books for something interesting. Standing underneath one of the air vents, I felt a continuously breeze of the chilly air until it suddenly ceased. I glanced upwards, staring questioningly at it.

"The air conditioning not working anymore." Carol said, her voice in a mild panic.

"Let's go to the control center," I mentioned, "Maybe the others found something out."

It didn't take a genius to know what was going on, Jenner had explained the generators were running out of fuel and the building was beginning to shut itself down. However, what puzzled me the most is what would happen when everything was completely shut off? Once we met up with everyone else in the control center, Jenner had been waiting for us, like he was expecting our panicked arrival any second.

"Whats going on here?" Rick was the first to speak out, he appeared calm on the outside but on the inside, he was brimming with fear like the rest of us. My hands tightly held Rose's shoulders with Ripley beside her.

"When the building runs out of power, it will self-destruct." He stated blankly, his dark eyes holding little to no emotion. He seemed so accepting, like he had been preparing for this moment for a long time. However, those words caused my jaw to drop, and my body trembled with sheer despair. Most bolted towards the door, I just stood there, dumbfounded as my little sister began to cry. She didn't want to die. Jenner slammed his hand down on a button near his desk, causing the doors surrounding the control room to shut before anyone had a chance to slip through.

"Why are you doing this?" I heard Carol's voice cry out, she held Sophia even tighter.

"I don't want to die!" Rose clawed at my arm, tears streaming down her face. I couldn't respond, I just stared at her with my eyes wide. I noticed Ripley didn't quite understand what was going on around him, but he grew worried as he sensed everyone's fear, "Lily!"

"Open the doors!" I shouted, my voice falling in with the others. The scientist appeared genuinely confused at our requests. In the corner of my eye, I seen both Shane and Daryl helplessly beat the shutters with any object they could find, mostly chairs and an emergency fire axe. Even though it was obvious they were getting no where, they still continued to try their hardest to break through.

"Isn't this a kinder way to go, rather than being torn apart by those monsters?" Jenner inquired, calmly as the seconds ticked away.

I felt my little sister's hands claw deeper into my arm, her tears burning my skin as her wails joined in with both Sophia's and Carl's cries. Ripley even started to wine at all the hysteria surrounding him. My gaze rested on the timer that was rapidly counting down, we only had fifteen minutes before the place would decontaminate itself and we would all be no more. I felt my own tears fall down my face, I knelt down and grasped Rose as hard as I could. Regret flooded through my system. Regret for never telling my sister the truth, for not apologizing to Daryl_, _and not being able to comfort Andrea.

"Please," I heard Lori trying once more to convince Jenner on letting us go, "We just want to survive as long as we can."

The shift in his facial features made it clear that Lori's words somehow struck a cord in him, Jenner sighed and reluctantly pressed a button on the control panel. The doors lifted opened and most raced towards the exit. I couldn't help but linger, noticing that Jacqui wanted to stay behind. What bothered me the most was that Andrea decided to stay as well, I wanted to stop her but I had Rose to look out for. After that, I raced along the corridors with the others with Rose by my waist and Ripley at my heels.

Jenner had warned us he was unable to open the entrance, we had to figure that out for ourselves. Shane attempted to shoot the glass but it was bulletproof. I knew it was hopeless, but I lifted a chair and tossed it with as much force as I could manage towards the window, and the chair bounced off. Glenn and Daryl also attempted to break the glass with the fire axe but nothing worked.

Carol fumbled through her purse, suddenly pulling out a small device, "Rick. I found this in your uniform when you first came to camp."

It was a grenade.

Rick detonated it near the windows of the lobby as the rest of us raced for cover. My body instantly covered Rose, and I had to shove Ripley out of the way. The poor dog didn't have the slightest clue of what was happening, and he was ending up being more of a hindrance than anything. But I knew I had to protect him as well. After the blast went off, my ears were ringing but we all raced through the broken window as a bigger explosion was about to take place. I knew the last time I gazed at the clock, we had at least fifteen minutes but it was impossible to keep track of how long time had passed from us racing through the halls and escaping from the lobby.

I dragged Rose along the fields of bodies surrounding us, heading for our van, "Ripley!"

Rose had screamed, digging her heels into the ground and forcing me to stop. I should have yanked her along, but Ripley seemed confused and frightful about the situation at hand that he was frozen. I knew walkers were due to this location at any time because of the noise from the grenade. The German shepherd had ceased near the window where the blast took place, barking inside the building. I gritted my teeth.

"Rose, head for the van and get inside as quick as you can. I'll be right behind you with Ripley." My hands were holding her shoulders tightly, shoving her towards the minivan as I suddenly dashed back to the CDC building.

"Lily! What are you doing?" I heard Glenn called out after me along with Carol and Daryl's voices yelling at me.

I ignored them, jumping over the bodies and running towards Ripley until my calves started burning. It wasn't a long distance, but all the running beforehand was starting to wear me out. He continued to bark inside the building and I knew what he had been calling for, Andrea and Dale were coming up from behind. Before we left the control center, I hadn't realized Dale stayed behind with Andrea. I was slightly grateful someone else was able to snap sense into her.

Ripley still refused to budge, he was probably waiting for Jacqui, who surely wasn't going to come. I ended up grabbing Ripley, cradling the heavy dog in my arms. He slowed me down as I hobbled the rest of the way, but I heard the others yell from the vehicles to get down. They didn't need to tell me twice as I ended up tripping over a body, landing roughly on the ground near Andrea and Dale. I heard Ripley yelp as I crashed down on to him.

I didn't see the explosion but I sure as hell could feel it. My back felt like it was suffering from intense burns and I suddenly became sweaty. The loud noise was indescribable, though I could barely hear anything afterward except the ringing in my ears had intensified. Dale tugged my arm once it was safe to keep moving. They slowed their pace for Ripley and me. The canine didn't resist me carrying him, thankfully, but my arms were starting to grow weak as his fur was slipping through my fingers. Though, I manage to make it to the van.

I tossed Ripley in the side where Rose was waiting, she slide the door shut and I raced on the other side and jumped in the driver's seat. The key was already in the ignition and the engine revved flawlessly. Our caravan immediately left the scene as walkers were slowly, but surely, making their way to the noise. Glancing over, I could see nothing but smoldering rubble. I couldn't help but feel mournful for Jacqui, though I knew she didn't want to suffer anymore and had made her decision. Though I couldn't accept death like she did, not with Rose pleading for her life like that.

"Ripley!" Rose cried out, hugging the dog I risked my life for.

I followed the RV in front of me, not sure where we were going but I would be glad to get as far away from this place as we could.

* * *

**Again, sorry if this one seems a lot shorter than the other chapters! But don't worry, the next chapter will be up by next week! Probably on or before Christmas Eve. Anyway, thank you for reading and please leave a review!  
**


	8. Stealing Thunder

**Hello guys, I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and an even better New Year. I am really thankful for you all reading my fanfiction, I really love getting reviews and reading them. I'm glad for every single one's review, but I'm really grateful for **FuchsiaGrasshopper**, **FanFicGirl10**,** **and **SilverAdvenger12**. They are the ones who review this story the most and I'm really glad they take the time to review most of my new chapters. Thanks.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.**

* * *

_Diary of the Dead Days_

Part 1.5: Ryder Ranch

**Chapter Eight  
**_Stealing Thunder_

* * *

Our destination was unknown. We left the streets of Atlanta behind us, traveling along the interstate and then venturing into some of the back roads. I kept checking my gas gauge, it was half-way and it wouldn't be long until the mini van would run out of fuel. Rose sat in the middle, twiddling her thumbs with boredom and Ripley was napping on the floorboard. Daryl's pick-up truck had ran out of gas a ways back, so he ditched it and replaced his ride with his brother's loud, roaring motorcycle. Loud noises as such were unsettling to me, they drew unwanted attention.

"Hey, that's my old school!" I heard Rose call out with excitement.

I glanced to my left, noticing her old elementary school. It was abandoned and had an ominous aura to it, though that wasn't what worried me. I should have noticed it earlier, the roads were beginning to look oddly familiar. It wouldn't be long until we passed our old home. That fact made my heart pound against my chest. Rose's eyes were glued to the window, staring at the old sights we use to see everyday. Of course, it wasn't long until we would pass our old dirt road.

"Stop! Stop! I wanna stop by our house!" Rose yelled, doing something I wasn't expecting of her. She grabbed the door handle and slid the van door open while I was driving down the road. If I hadn't abruptly stopped, she would have jumped out. Rick almost rear ended my mini van, his brakes screeching behind me followed by Shane's stopping as well. I honked my horn twice, notifying the RV in front of me that we had stopped. Our old driveway was a long, winding dirt road and Rose was almost half down it. Ripley had followed her too, tail wagging playfully as he probably recognized the scenery. I stumbled out of the driver's side.

"What's going on?" Daryl yelled, parking the motorcycle and approaching my van. Others started pouring out of their vehicles as well.

"That's our old house!" I cried out, my voice cracking with fear.

I raced after Rose, who was slowly disappearing in our old front yard and was dangerously close to the porch. Daryl understood why I had been so fearful of Rose going inside, the rest were unsure about what was going on, but they all dashed for the little girl. As I came closer to the old, white house, I saw Rose enter through the screen door with ease. Our parents must have kept the door unlocked.

The scream I heard told me everything, my body froze as everyone else raced pass me. Rick was the first one in, with Daryl closely behind him as well as Shane. Their guns ready for any walkers that may had wandered in the house. Lori slowed her pace and ended up beside me, her hand placing itself on my shoulder. Her eyes were mixed with concern and confusion as she led me to the front porch. Death had such a horrible stench, though the constant smell of walkers had made my nostril use to the scent, but I wasn't ready for the scene before me.

Rose was crying, crying harder than I ever seen her before. She was knelt down at our father's side with her hands wrapped around his. Carl tried talking to her, but his voice was drowned by her painful sobs.

"Oh my God." Lori muttered beside me, her hand covering her mouth.

Everyone piled into the cramp living room, Andrea had been the last to appear. She was silent, but I could tell she was as shocked as the rest. Shane didn't spend much time gazing at what was before him, he instead scouted the rest of the house to make sure it was safe and that we weren't in store for a surprise attack. Rick did the same, entering the kitchen.

"Damn." Daryl hissed. He had tried his hardest to catch up to Rose, to stop her from seeing this, but she was fast and had a head start.

I hadn't imagined what my parent were going to look like after they _opted out_, but it wasn't a sight I was mentally prepared for. Blood was splattered behind the walls and there were small nicks where the bullets had landed. The pistol my father had used to end his life had fallen from his limp hand and was lying on the floor next to his boots. He didn't dress up for the occasion, just wearing his usual flannel shirt and torn jeans that he worn when he was out working on the farm. My father had chosen the reclining chair that he favored, the one that was always off-limits during TV time. My mother laid on the couch, she wore a simple sundress and her gun was resting in her lap.

"Lily?" Carol's voice barely reached me. I hadn't realize the immense stream of tears flowing from my eyes. My whole body was quivering, my parents laid dead before me.

"I hate you!" Rose screamed at me suddenly. I don't know why I was shocked, I deserved it, "You lied to me! You said they were safe! They're not safe, they're dead!"

She threw the lamp sitting of the end table near our dad's body at me, it missed and landed at my feet. Rose was probably in so much rage, she couldn't aim correctly. Carol tried calming her down, as well as Sophia and Carl, but she raced upstairs, upstairs to her old room. I stared down at the shattered lamp near my boots, not able to make eye contact with the dead bodies before me. She slammed the door just as Rick and Shane returned.

"This place is clear," Rick said, "We'll set up a proper burial for them."

The area around me felt suffocating, everyone's sympathetic gazes were smothering me. Lori was rubbing my shoulder and Carol was touching my hand. Dale lowered his gaze to the floor, frowning in sorrow. Andrea was still bitter about something that had happened between her and Dale at the CDC, but she also gazed at me with sadness. Daryl was quiet, I noticed the scowl he made at my parents. Probably still believing they were horrible for choosing death and letting two helpless girls to fend on their own.

"I think Rose and I just need to be alone for awhile." I swallowed hard, my voice cracking and my tears wouldn't stop.

I headed for the stairs and went up to my old room. It was across from Rose's, but I didn't bother knocking on her door. She didn't want anything to do with me. I twisted the knob, opening what use to be mine. I was greeted with a stale stench, my room had been untouched since I left. Or so I thought. I noticed on my bed, in the center laid a diary. It was the diary my mom had gotten me for my birthday a few years ago. I never used it though. The cover had puppies on it, three adorable golden retrievers, and a pink, flowery background. I would have felt bad if I threw it away, so I kept it.

It was stashed away in my closet, but it appeared as if someone had dragged it out. I opened it, revealing the first page. It was a letter from my mom.

_Dear Lily, _

_I am so sorry for leaving you and your sister in such a horrible world. Your father and I were too weak, we couldn't handle it so we decided to end it before things got worse. I cried for hours after you left with Rose. I'm scared. I'm scared God will punish us for giving up, but I know He will understand. Please, Lily, please, if you ever read this, protect Rose no matter what. Don't let her die. I know you are strong enough to survive this world, but she isn't. She's still a child. I love you two so much, and I'm proud of you both. I'm sorry for letting you down, please forgive me ..._

"Mom ..." I sobbed violently, clutching the diary in my shaking hands. My heart ached so much that my chest was starting to hurt, I pressed the book close to me in an attempt to relieve the pain. I cried out for my mom, whining and wishing she was here and alive. The rest of the letter was hard to read due to the tear stains, the dry ones were once my mother's while the damp spots were my own.

My room was much cleaner than I had left it. My bed was perfectly made, stuffed animals decorating it beautifully instead of slung around like I usually had it. The mess that use to be the top of my dresser was neatly organized and the mirror was wiped clean. I wanted to crawled into bed, cradling my stuffed animals but I didn't want to mess up what my mother worked so hard to perfect. I continued to sob on the floor, holding my diary like it was my mom.

* * *

I don't know how long I laid on the floor, but my eyes and nose was burning intensely. A knocking on my door was the only thing that had caused me to stir. I answered it and it was Carol on the other side.

"The funeral is ready. Rose is with Sophia and Carl." Carol informed, "I'm so sorry about what happened."

"It's fine." I waved away her sympathy, "I just couldn't tell Rose, it's all my fault."

The funeral was given in the backyard, two graves were dug and the bodies that laid hauntingly in the living room were now gone. Everyone was already lined around the graves. Rose didn't pay me any attention, her gaze was set and focused on the grave markers before her. I stood next to Andrea, Carol went to stand beside her daughter and I knew Rose didn't want me near her. Daryl was on the other side of me, he seemed to noticed the book in my hand but didn't mention anything.

The silence was broken by Rick, who was standing beside his wife, "I've actually been here before, when I was first heading to Atlanta. I borrowed one of your horses, I'm sorry I wasn't able to bring him back."

He seem like he was trying to lighten up the mood, Rick's attention was gazing over towards Rose. She frown at the mention of one of the horses, she loved them the most. When we were first leaving the house, she wanted to bring the horses along with us, but I told we could only bring Ripley. Looking around, I noticed Ripley was missing from the scene but it turned out that T-Dog had put him up in his old pen, so he wouldn't slip away or get in any trouble while Rose and I weren't watching him.

"Which one was it?" She inquired softly.

"He was a chestnut color with a white streak on his face." Rick had laid a hand on Rose's shoulder, kneeling down to her level. Lori smiled at her husband's kindness.

"His name was Thunder, he was my favorite." Her voice was barely above a mutter. Rick gave her another apology before standing to his feet.

"Is there anything either of you want to say?" He asked for any final words. Rose remained silent, her puffy eyes still fixated on the graves.

"I'm sorry, Rose. I knew that if you figured out what mom and dad were doing, you wouldn't have left with me. Everything I did was to protect you, I had to keep you safe." My words fell on deaf ears, Rose refused to look at me or even acknowledge my words. I rubbed my eyes with my free hand, forcing them dry before more tears fell. "I'm sorry."

For the rest of the short funeral service, everyone bowed their heads. After that, Rick and Shane approached me and asked if there were anymore supplies left. I had cleared out as much as I could before I left, but my van only could fit so much and we had extra canned goods we always kept around in case of emergencies. I told them that they were welcomed to any supplies they could find but not to go in any of the bedrooms inside the house.

"Fair enough." Shane nodded, scouting towards the stable. I pointed out that the horse stable would most likely have some more weapons stashed inside.

Our farm was mainly for animals, not so much as crops. Many of the people from town often referred to it as the Ryder Ranch and would even bring kids for their birthday parties. Most of the cattle had been picked off by walkers and the rest of the horses were gone. Thunder was probably the last one until Rick came by. Rose was always excited about learning how to ride horses, but now she would never get the chance. I was never interested in horses, and I feared them because of their large size. I was more of a dog person, therefore Rose always got presents with horses and then I would get presents with dogs all over them. Like the diary.

Rose ended up showing Sophia and Carl her old room, she even let Carol look inside. I watched her lead the small group back inside the house while I stood next to my parent's graves.

"I always wondered what the room of a badass archer, like yourself, would look like." Daryl snickered, sarcasm obviously present in his voice.

"No, I rather you not ever see my room. Ever." I turned around, softly laughing.

Ripley was glad to see me when I approached his dog cage. He had so much freedom lately, he didn't like being coped up in a cage. I unlocked the hatch and let him out. He raced around the front yard, almost like he was ecstatic about being home once again. I also placed my diary securely in my bag in the van, I never wanted to lose it. Even though Rose hated me, I had to keep her safe no matter what. It was my mother's final wishes. I sighed, the others started to approach the clusters of cars in front of the abandoned dirt road.

"There wasn't much left, but we got some more food and three more pistols." Shane explained, packing the supplies into the RV.

I breathed deeply, trying to calm myself as I knew two of those pistols were the weapons my parents ended their life with. I knew we needed firearms, but I felt sick thinking about using them. Andrea, Glenn, and Dale entered the RV. I slid opened the van door, allowing Ripley to jump in. I turned to my little sister, waiting for her to follow Ripley.

"Carol, Lori, um, is it okay if I ride with Sophia and Carl?" Rose asked, ignoring me completely. My heart dropped at her request, she hated me so much that she didn't want to ride in the same vehicle with me.

"I don't know, it's up to Lily ..." Lori wasn't sure what to do and looked to me for an answer.

"It's fine." I waved it off as nothing, "I know it's boring for her to ride in the van, and she would rather be able to talk with her friends."

As I entered the driver's side, I sighed. I deserved everything that was coming to me, I didn't blame Rose at all, but I still felt bitter about her treating me so harshly. She was just kid and didn't realize how much her actions affected people, how much it had hurt me. I thought that during the ride I could try to talk to her but that wasn't going to happen.

I gazed at the dirt road one last time, noticing walkers were slowly making their way towards the ranch. There wasn't enough to pose a threat, only three wandering aimlessly. They perked up once we started our cars but they couldn't keep up once we took off, leaving behind my parents and my old home.

We could have camped out there, but no one mentioned it. They probably didn't want to cause anymore unnecessary pain for my sister and me. As I drove, old memories flooded my mind. Like the day when Rose first came home and she was just a baby, my mother was so happy. Or how joyful Rose had been when got a puppy for Christmas one year. Or even the simplest memories of Rose falling asleep on my shoulder as we watched late night movies on the weekend.

I felt a wet nose nuzzling my elbow, I shifted my glance down towards Ripley. It was almost like he could sense my sorrow. I then focused my attention on the empty roads ahead of us, no matter what, I had to be strong even if I felt weak.

"It'll be okay." I assured Ripley as well as myself.

* * *

**Thanks for reading, please leave a review! Happy Holidays~  
**


	9. Shame and Doubt

**I'm really sorry for the long wait. There's a couple of reasons, I was really busy over winterbreak, my birthday was the 29th (I turned 19!) and then eventually spring semester started. I'm taking wonderfully complicated class of computer programming and logic, database, and precalculus, so the first week I was kind of overwhelmed! Anyway, that's why I haven't been writing much, but I hope you enjoy this chapter!  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.**

* * *

_Diary of the Dead Days_

Part 2: Hershel's Farm

**Chapter Nine  
**Shame and Doubt

* * *

Our caravan traveled until nightfall, parking our vehicles in the middle of a desolated highway. Since Shane's jeep and Daryl's motorcycle weren't the most suitable to sleep in, I offered part of my van because the RV was already packed full. The mini van was able to lay down the back seats, creating more room. It was still cramped and it would look quite awkward for two grown men to sleep so close together, not to mention they didn't particularly like each other. So, in the end, it was Ripley and me sleeping in the back while Daryl and Shane took the driver and passenger seats, mainly looking guard.

I needed the rest, but I didn't want to sleep. I started writing on the next page in my diary, half keeping track of my thoughts and half talking to my mom. It was hard to write in the dark, but I managed. I mostly wrote about the events that had occurred. Telling my mom about how I was finally learning archery, and I even mentioned Amy and my short-lived friendship with her. I missed Amy very much but it was nothing compared to how Andrea must be feeling. I even awkwardly wrote about what happened with Merle, how he tried going after me and how the group left him behind. As well as the cruel things I said to Daryl and the fact I still needed to apologize to him.

I don't know how long I spent writing, but I wrote until my eyes were heavy and I could no longer hold them open. I stashed my diary away in a safe place and let sleep take over.

* * *

"Wake up." My former alarm clock smacked my cheek lightly with his back hand. Daryl didn't hit me hard, but there was enough force to jolt me awake, "We're headin' out."

After restoring my seats to their proper position, and Daryl and Shane returning to their own vehicles, we headed down the highway. Though our journey was short-lived, in front of us a large group of abandoned cars was blocking the road ahead. My gas gauge was dangerously low, and none of us had enough fuel to take another route. Daryl's motorcycle easily slipped past the barricade. Dale tried to snake his RV around the cars, but there was a strange, popping noise and suddenly smoke was rising from the hood.

"It's the radiator hose," Dale confirmed after investigating the engine.

We all had exited our cars, unsure of what to do next. I glanced towards Rose, she was talking with Sophia. She appeared better than she had been yesterday, however, she refused to make eye contact with me. I frowned, shrugging off her hatred. Ripley explored the area, sniffing around, though I would call his name when he would wandered too far.

Glenn and Shane decided to search the numerous car for a radiator hose to replace the one for the RV. Others thought now was the best time to scavenge for more supplies. I noticed Lori appeared conflicted about the situation.

"This place is a graveyard." Everyone seemed mildly distraught by Lori's words, but we needed supplies.

I wasn't quite comfortable with Ripley wandering around on his own, especially since the CDC where I almost risked my life to save him. I dragged out his old leash that I had packed away, keeping the German Shepard close to me. Ripley was mostly concerned with the various amounts of smells awaiting him, stopping at every car and sniffing it. Dale took his post on top of the RV, scanning the area for any trouble that may come our way. He waved at me once he realized I was gazing towards his direction, I returned the gesture. Andrea became anti-social, remaining in the RV and messing with her pistol.

As Ripley continued his journey through the maze of cars, we ended up meeting with Lori and Carol's group. The kids were happy to see Ripley, Sophia petted him between the ears and Carl rubbed his back. Rose kept her distance from me but joined in with saying hello to the dog. However, Ripley's ears suddenly perked and his nose went straight in the air. A devilish growl rumbling from his throat.

"Walkers!" Dale alerted everyone, immediately dropping down to conceal himself.

Everyone around us scrambled underneath the abandoned cars. I shoved Ripley under first and somehow managed to cramp myself between him and the bottom of the car. I felt the metal from the vehicle scratching my back, but I ignored the pain. I pressed my body as hard as I could on to Ripley, making sure he wouldn't move and then I clamped my hands over his muzzle.

Looking around, I felt relief that everyone was safe and out of sight. Carol and Lori slipped under a car together as well as Rose and Sophia, Carl hide under a car adjacent from them. Rick was close by too. My little sister held on to her friend's hand tightly, fearful of the feet that dragged by. I couldn't count how many walkers passed, there were so many that is was almost like a gigantic herd of cattle passing by. My dog wiggled underneath me, but I kept a firm grip on him.

It felt like hours until the herd passed, and I looked again at Rose and Sophia to make sure they were alright. They smiled at each other, however, their relief didn't last long. A strangler was walking by, it hesitated right at the car where the two girls were hiding underneath. It somehow sensed their presence, lowing itself and it tried grabbing for Sophia and Rose.

"Lily!" I heard Rose's voice screech in terror.

No! My heart skipped at beat as they both screamed and scrambled out from under the car. I couldn't see where they raced off too, but the walker wasn't letting them off that easily. Ripley moved more violently as he seen Rose get chased, but I held on to him. I bit my bottom lip as hard as I could, forcing myself not to go after my sister. Rick had already gone after them, I would just end up in the way.

* * *

"Where's my sister?" My words came out more in a hiss, I didn't intend for so much hostility but it just came out that way.

Rick returned not long after he killed two walkers. He had ordered for both Rose and Sophia to stay hidden near the creek, and that he would be back for them. However, once he returned where he left them, they were no longer there. Daryl assembled a group to go back and track their footprints. At first, it was just Rick, Glenn, and Shane, but I volunteer myself to go. I left Ripley behind with Carl and Lori.

"I told them to stay here. They must have gotten scared and ran off." Rick tried explaining to me once again.

I thought the lost of my sister would have caused me more sorrow and pain, no, I was angry and seeing red. My heart pounded furiously, though, I knew she was still alive and that we just need to find her quickly before anything else does. While hiding underneath the car, waiting for Rick to save Sophia and Rose, I was biting my lip the entire time. I had applied so much pressure, I bit through the skin and now my bottom lip was a dried, bloody mess.

"You three," Rick points towards Shane, Glenn, and me, "Go back to the highway and make sure everyone is calm while Daryl and I look for Sophia and Rose."

I scowled at the police officer, but kept my mouth shut and followed his orders. I wanted to help with the search, though, my attitude probably wasn't helping. Shane took the lead, while Glenn and I lingered behind him.

"I'm sorry about your sister." Glenn said to me.

"It's fine, we'll find them soon." I reassured myself, thinking only of the positive outcome. Sophia and Rose had only been missing for less than ten minutes, they couldn't have gotten far. If Daryl could track the same deer for two days straight, he could surely find two girls before the sun goes down.

"Is your lip okay?" He inquired, voicing his concern.

"Yeah." I touched my lip, it felt wet as the wound hadn't fully scabbed over yet, "I must have scrapped it on the pavement."

It didn't take us long to reach our temporary campsite. I felt like I wanted to say more to Glenn, but my mind went blank with things to say. The only one who seemed distraught about the whole scenario was Carol, tears streaming down her face as she pleaded with the others about searching for her daughter. Shane and Andrea immediately started clearing a path so the RV could fit through. Glenn was helping patch up T-Dog, who got injured while the herd passed. He wasn't bitten, thankfully, he only suffered a nasty scratch from one of the cars.

"What are we doing? We need to search for my daughter and Rose." Carol pleaded to no one in particular as she sobbed.

"We won't leave them behind." Lori reassured her.

"Rick and Daryl are looking for them now." I mentioned to Carol, who nodded slowly. She had calmed down a little, but she still looked pitiful.

I sighed, feeling awkward as I stepped closer to Carol. She hadn't expected me to hug her, she was shocked when I wrapped my arms around her shoulders but returned the gesture. I wasn't much of a "hugger", I rarely even hugged my own mom, but I didn't know how else to comfort Carol who was in the same situation as me. Soon enough, she hugged me tighter and buried her face in my shoulder, crying. I felt my own tears sting my cheeks as I rubbed her back softly.

The sun was starting to set when Daryl and Rick returned. No Rose or Sophia in sight.

"We have to keep looking!" I snapped, narrowing my eyes with anger and disappointment, "They can't stay out in the woods alone, especially at night!"

"Sophia is only twelve and Rose is even younger." Carol echoed my concern, though her voice was laced with less hostility than mine.

"We'll resume the search first thing in the morning, I promise." Rick said.

"There's no use looking in the dark, we wouldn't be able to find anything." Daryl added in. Their words silenced Carol. I wanted to argue, but I knew it was no use. I sighed, nodding in agreement to postpone the search until the morning.

* * *

The only reason I had risen early that morning was because I couldn't sleep. I didn't write in my diary, I felt ashamed about telling my mother that I had let Rose slip away. If Rose hadn't been angry with me for lying, she wouldn't have been with Sophia under the car and instead been with me. Everything was my fault.

Yesterday, Carl had found extra weapons in one of the vehicles, and everyone was now armed. I already had mine own, I chose the fire ax that I brought from home. The blade was dull, but with enough force it could get the job done. I brought Ripley along with me as well, using his leash once more. Ripley was only a herding dog, never once had he been used to search for someone but I thought I'd give his nose a shot. Carl begged his father to come along with the search party, Rick hesitated at first but allowed him to go because of his concern for his friends.

Daryl led our group, his expertise in tracking were coming quite handy. Rick and Shane brought up the rear while the rest of us was grouped together in the middle. Ripley's nose was sniffing the ground intensely, though I doubt he found Rose or Sophia's scent and was probably occupied with the smells of the woods.

"Look at that." Carl pointed out a small tent that was in the middle of a clearing, "They could be in there."

There was a place for a campfire, ashes scattered about and cans littered the ground, Ripley sniffing each one in curiosity. A putrid scent lingered around the small campsite, I couldn't tell if something was rotting nearby or if that was just how the world smelt now. Daryl had his hunting knife ready, standing near the tent. Rick stepped forward, eying it suspiciously.

"Call out their names, if they are in there, they would want to hear your voices first." Rick whispered.

I doubt if Rose wanted to hear my voice, but Carol and I did as he said and softly called out their names. There was no sign of movement within the tent, so Daryl bent forward and carefully unzipped the entrance. The putrid smell of rotting flesh intensified, causing Carol to gag beside me. The dead body inside the tent wasn't moving, thankfully. Daryl pulled out a pistol.

"Must've opted out." He rolled his eyes, but realized what he had said. He glanced towards me, seeing me grimace a little. Now every time I imagine someone opting out, I automatically remember my parent's lifeless bodies.

"They haven't been here," Daryl changed the subject, keeping the gun for himself, "We need to keep looking."

Just as we were about to head out, the silence of the forest was broken by the loud ringing of church bells. The sudden noise caused Ripley to let out a bark, he tried to race towards the sound but my grip held him back. I felt a rush of hope, thinking that Rose and Sophia may have found a church and was ringing the bells to let us know they were okay. Shane motioned us onward, running towards the noise.

We weren't a far distance from the desolated, small church. My heart dropped once I realized it lack a steeple, the bells were set on a timer located outside of the building. We managed to shut it off quickly, investigating the interior of the church to find three walkers inside. Rick, Glenn, and Daryl took care of them easily. I had felt my hand grip the handle of my axe tighter, Rose and Sophia were nowhere to be found. I wanted to keep looking, every second we spent inside the church was a second we wasted not looking for my sister. However, the majority of the group wanted to stay, especially Carol. Her eyes were downcast, her muttering words speaking to the statue of God before her.

Rose and I were raised in a Christian home, we were taught to be respectful, especially in church. The curses I kept muttering under my breath would have anger my mother greatly. Then I felt remorseful, realizing she was probably looking down at me with not only shame, but now disgust. I should have prayed with Carol, begged for Rose and Sophia's safe return, but I didn't want to stay inside. I felt like I was being constantly watched. I let Carl hold Ripley's leash, the German Shepherd obediently sat at the boy's side.

"Goddamit." I hissed, kicking at the dirt with my boots. I placed my hand against the oak tree in front of the church, leaning over to stare at the ground.

I felt utterly helpless, and my hope of God not being cruel and letting my sister live was slowly diminishing. He was cruel enough to let such a horrible thing happen to this world, why would he save two little girls? I sighed in frustration as I felt conflicted, I knew my mother would have been angry with me if she knew I was doubting God. Though with each passing day, my faith was growing thinner and thinner.

"C'mon," I heard Daryl's voice from behind me, in his hand was Ripley's leash with the dog trailing behind him, "We're splitting up the search party, to cover more ground. Shane, Rick, and Carl are heading south while the rest of us cover the north."

I hesitated before I grabbed Ripley's leash, "Do you think we're going to find them?"

"I know we're gonna to find them." Daryl's voice laced with anger, his eyes glaring at me for being so negative.

I nodded, forcing myself to smile and trying to rid myself of doubt.

We will find them no matter what.

* * *

**It might be another wait for the next chapter, hopefully not as long! Hope you guys enjoyed it! Please leave me a review, those usually get me inspired to write, lol. Thanks for reading.  
**


	10. I'm Sorry

**Thank you so much for the reviews! They really help me with getting me in the mood to write, lol. School hasn't been too hard on me, thankfully, and I've really been inspired to write. Hopefully this will keep up! I'm so excited about next month, when the Walking Dead finally returns to TV! I can't wait. Anyway, here's chapter ten. Hope you guys enjoy!  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.**

* * *

_Diary of the Dead Days_

Part 2: Hershel's Farm

**Chapter Ten  
**_I'm Sorry  
_

* * *

A gunshot had echoed throughout the eerily silent forest, the loud noise caused Ripley's chocolate eyes to gaze around in fear. I jerked at the sound, thinking about all the walkers that would be heading this way. Lori jumped as well, her eyes went wide. Our group froze, gazing at each other with uncertainty.

"What was that?" Lori said, panic rising in her voice. She was probably concerned about her husband and son who went off in the other direction.

"Rick might have killed a walker." Daryl offered.

That response didn't seem to satisfy her, "No, no, no, Rick wouldn't risk the noise of killing just one walker."

I was equally curious about the random gunfire, agreeing with Lori that they wouldn't waste the ammo nor risk the attention just to kill a single walker. However, finding Sophia and Rose was our priority, we would be wasting time if we investigated what was going on with the other group. I frowned, seeing her conflicted expression made it obvious she wanted to go figure out the source of the noise, but she wasn't going to go alone.

"We have to keep searching." My voice reminded the group with a slight hint of hostility, "If we don't hurry up and find them, something else might."

Our group forged on, Lori was the only one disappointed with our choice but didn't voice her concerns anymore. I felt myself scowl, she wasn't suffering like Carol and me. Her son was perfectly safe with his father, not lost in the woods with vicious, man-eating walkers look for their next meal. They already spent the night in the woods and were probably scared to death. Though I had faith in Rose.

Rose was known to be clever and resourceful at times, she had an extensive knowledge of what wild plants were safe to eat and what was poisonous, and she was able to build a campfire, even without a lighter. I knew my sister was still alive, she had to be. Ripley continued to sniff the ground, I had one of Rose's shirts that I would periodically shove in Ripley's face when no one was looking. If the others saw me, they would probably think my idea was childish since Ripley was a herding dog.

I trailed along beside Glenn, following Daryl's heels while the rest lingered in the back. I overheard Andrea and Carol talking, but I didn't really pay attention to their conversation. I was too busy looking out for any indications or clues about my sister's location. The group remained silent as we marched onward, but I couldn't help but hear a faint noise of hooves beating against the ground. Since our ranch was mostly populated by horses, I would hear them trotting around all the time. I could always look out my window and see the pasture where all our horses were grazing and running around. I was too busy basking in the strange sense of nostalgia that I didn't bothering to report I heard the sound of a horse approaching.

I glanced at Daryl, he appeared as if he was hearing something as well, but his thoughts were interrupted by Andrea screaming behind us. A walker managed to sneak up on her, causing Andrea to fall to the ground with the beast on top of her. It's teeth dangerously close to her skin. I gripped my axe tighter, ready to save her life until the beating of hooves came closer than it was before. A chestnut colored horse shot out from the tree line, its rider swiftly dealing a death-blow to the walker and saving Andrea. I blinked, staring at the girl who held the baseball bat as her eyes quickly surveyed the area. I was still baffled by her entrance, my guard was let down and I didn't even considered the fact she could be a threat. She saved Andrea like a knight in shining armor, if she had been a boy, I might would have fallen in love. I felt myself blush at my odd fantasies.

"Is Lori here?" Her voice was full of urgency.

"What is it?" Lori was unsure about this mysterious woman, but I could tell she was still worried about her family. Her concentration was never on our search.

"Carl's been shot. Rick's at the farm, I'll take you to him." At first her words went over my head. Carl had been shot? That didn't even make sense, but my mind went back to the gunshot we had heard earlier. Was that what happened?

"Is he alive?" Lori panicked, grabbing the girl's hands as she holstered Lori on to the horse's back.

"Yes." The girl said.

"We don't even know this girl, why you goin' with her!" Daryl shouted, the girl ignored the tracker's words and mostly focused her attention on Glenn, telling him the location of the farm they were staying at. It was a little ways from the highway, but not far.

I was somewhat furious that our search was cut short, but I knew that Carl's life was in danger. We had covered quite a bit of ground, and by the time we reached the RV, it was almost dusk and we would had to end our search anyway. T-Dog was in terrible condition, he looked extremely weak and was sweating. His cut must be infected, most likely blood poisoning. Glenn explained what happened to Dale, about how Carl was shot and Lori went to see him. I panicked at first, were we going to switch locations? What if we all left to find this farm and then if Rose and Sophia do come back, no one will be here.

"Are we leaving?" Carol echoed my thoughts, "What if they come back."

"I'll stay here with the RV." Dale offered with a kind smile, nodding towards both Carol and me.

It ended up being Glenn and T-Dog the ones who left the highway, T-Dog was in need of urgent care and the rest of us decided to stay behind in case Rose or Sophia turned up. There was enough room in the RV for everyone to sleep, Carol took one of the beds and Dale stayed awake on top of the RV to keep watch. Andrea and Daryl would take turns taking Dale's place to look out for walkers, giving Carol and me a chance to rest. I could have slept in the other bed, next to Carol, but I wanted to be alone. I sat in the driver's seat of my van, my diary opened in my lap and my pen laying limp in my hand.

I tried writing, but I didn't know what to say. My lack of sleep was starting to get to me and now my mouth felt sore, I couldn't stop myself from gnawing at my wound. I eventually forced myself to write, apologizing to my mom about losing sight of Rose. _I know Rose is still alive. I knew if she was with you, you wouldn't keep that a secret from me, Mom. You would find someway to tell me. We've been searching the woods for her but we somehow manage to not find her. As the days go by, I can tell people are starting to lose hope. Every nightfall that passes, Rose and Sophia's chances of survival are falling ..._

My mind kept going blank with things to say, I didn't feel much like writing. I didn't feel much like anything. If Rose didn't survive, what was my purpose for living? There was Ripley, but he couldn't rid me of my sorrow for my sister. Nothing could. I was starting to feel Andrea's depression, the loneliness gnawing at me and my heart aching. Suddenly, something was banging against my window. My first instinct was thinking it was a walker, but as I focused on what I saw outside, it was Daryl. Ripley barked, he had been sleeping and the noise surprised him as much as it did me. I opened my door.

"Why don't ya sleep in the RV, Carol doesn't want to be alone." Daryl said.

"She has you, Andrea, and Dale." I mentioned, my voice dragging on with depression, "I just want to be alone."

"You know what she's goin' through. Stop that." He hissed, noticing that I began to bite my bottom lip as he continued talking.

"I can't help it," I sighed, averting my gaze, "What if we don't find them? Rose has been my only reason to live, if she's gone, I don't know what I'm going to do."

"She's fine." I was expecting hostility like earlier today when I had questioned finding Rose, now it was kind. His tone confused me, I was so use to his sarcastic and harsh comments, "I'll find them. If you start giving up, everyone else will start giving up too."

I still sat in my van, my door open and Daryl standing in front of me with a serious expression. I kept trying to force myself to stay positive, but with the second nightfall, my doubt wouldn't go away. I sighed, slipping out of the seat and shutting the door behind me, leaving my journal behind. I grabbed Ripley, leading him with the leash. I grew accustomed to walking the canine with the leash, feeling that it not only made him safer but me as well. If a walker tried attacking me, Ripley would surely defend me and it would also stop him from running away in panic and getting lost.

"When I was around Rose and Sophia's age, I got lost in the woods," Daryl mentioned as we walked towards the RV, "Nobody was even looking for me, but I found my way back. I was lost for about a week, walked into the kitchen and made me a sandwich, no one even notice I had been gone. At least they got people looking for them."

"Yeah." I was unsure how to respond to his story.

"Ain't nobody looking for my brother." There wasn't any spite in his tone, but it reminded me of the harsh words I once said to him about his brother.

I stopped walking, falling a few feet away from the RV. Daryl noticed, turning to see why I stopped. I gazed down at the ground, biting my lip and then forcing my apology out, "I'm sorry about what I said about your brother, I didn't really mean it. I knew we shouldn't leave him behind, but I was really upset about what happened."

"What happened exactly?" He crossed his arm, staring at me with a solemn expression.

"He didn't tell you?" I asked.

"No," He shook his head, "I ain't stupid, I knew something was up when y'all came back. Then after that you had nothin' to do with me."

I felt my face grow hot with embarrassment, my hands gripping tightly at the fabric of my shirt, "He was drunk, I was getting ready to bathe in the quarry until he showed up. If Shane hadn't been there, I don't know what would have happened."

I didn't look at his face, I oddly felt shameful. Daryl had proven to me that he was nothing like his older brother. He tried helping me with my archery, saved my life by killing the walker that grabbed a hold of my hair when our old campsite was attacked, and now he's doing all he can to help find my sister. It wasn't the ideal friendship, like the one I wanted with Amy, but I felt I could rely on him and he felt like a friend. I imagined him looking at me in disgust, thinking I was some kind of trash his brother tried to get with.

"I'm sorry." The gentle tone of his hoarse voice was still taking me by surprise, but I refused to look directly at his face. An awkward silence soon followed.

"I don't mean to interrupt, but Daryl, could you take over my shift." Dale's head peer over the top of the RV, gazing down at us with his friendly smile.

My eyes widened, realizing he must have heard our entire conversation. Daryl nodded, walking behind the RV to climb up the ladder on the roof. I gazed at Dale as he walked up to me, feeling odd. He continued to grin at me, "It's a really quiet night, isn't it? I didn't hear anything the whole time I was being the look out, it was nice. No walkers, nothing."

His smile was infectious, I couldn't help but smile at the old man. I followed him into the RV, claiming the empty bed beside Carol. She was sound asleep, but as I sneaked a peek at Carol's face, I noticed her cheeks were stained with tears. I frowned, I should have been here earlier comforting her. I snuggled into the bed, allowing Ripley to cuddle up beside me underneath the covers. He rested his muzzle on my chest, my arms wrapping around him tightly.

* * *

Before reuniting with Rick and the others, we left a large amount of supplies on top of an abandoned car and writing _Rose and Sophia, Stay Here _on the back window. Our caravan traveled to the rumored farmhouse where Carl was being cared for. The farm gave me a strong sense of nostalgia, the scents of farm animals and large pastures brought back fond memories. We set up our campsite a short distance from the house, I still used my van as my sleeping place and refusing Carol's offer of sleeping in her tent. I felt bad for saying no, but I still felt much safer in a vehicle than out in the open. Most of the tents circled the campfire that Glenn had set up, the RV parked to the right and my van flanking the left a little ways away. The rest of the vehicles sat near the dirt road, further away from camp.

We had to attend a funeral service for a man named Otis, he had been the one who accidentally shot Carl but ended up sacrificing his life to get the medical supplies to help save him. Shane had accompanied Otis and ended up injuring his ankle. His look was different as well, instead of the mass of black, curly hair, he had shaved it down to his scalp.

The girl who had rode the horse, saved Andrea, and took Lori to Carl, was named Maggie. The farm belonged to her father, Hershel Greene. They seemed like nice people, but they didn't allow guns on their farm. Meaning we had to give up our firearms, this mostly upset Shane and Andrea. I didn't like the fact of being unprotected, but Dale was allowed the only rifle since he was our lookout. Maggie gave us a map of the area, which helped to continue our search. We gathered around the map, marking off the places we had already searched and the places we hadn't touched. I felt anxious, ready to get back searching for Rose immediately. This was our third day and their time was running out.

"We'll start our search immediately." Rick announced, gazing at the map Maggie laid out.

"We can start where we left off." Shane added.

"I don't think so." Hershel approached our group. My eyes darted towards Rick and Shane, "You are weak from donating so much blood and your ankle will get worse if you keep over doing it."

I felt restless as the search was halted yet again. But, Rick and Shane were in no condition to keep looking for Rose and Sophia. No one else made an effort to lead a search party, however, I spotted Daryl grabbing his crossbow. His tent was set a little far off from our main camp, pass my van. I dispatched from the rest of the group that was assigning possible search areas for tomorrow and raced towards Daryl.

"Are you searching for Rose and Sophia?" The awkward conversation we had last night had temporary slipped my mind, but as he turned towards, I felt odd.

"Yeah." He said.

"Let me come with you." I offered, "I can help."

"I better off on my own, Lily. You'll probably get in the way." He words were true, he was less effective with his tracking when more people were around, but I couldn't help feel disappointed, "How about you help T-Dog and Dale with the well."

He didn't let me say anything else, turning his heel and walking towards the woods. I despised waiting at camp, but I desperately hoped that when Daryl would return, he wouldn't be alone. I sighed, heading towards the well on the other side of the farm. Glenn and Maggie had left awhile ago, heading for the pharmacy in town to gather supplies. I slightly wondered if Glenn finished the novels that I had lent him, hoping he hadn't lost them.

I ended up carrying a few empty canisters to the well. As T-Dog began pumping the water into the first canister, I stood with my arms crossed. The weather was humid and there were no clouds in the sky to cover the sun's rays, my ponytail was doing little to relieve the heat and my dark shirt and long pants only made it worse. T-Dog was sweating profusely, especially since the pump handle was slightly rusted and it was hard to move. I was growing impatient for the water, my mouth painfully dry. Ripley was by my side, sniffing at the broken wood that covered the well. I felt nervous as he walked closer, worried that he might fall in.

"Ripley, stay back." I scolded, grabbing his collar. I left his leash in my van, letting him have some freedom to roam around the farm. However, the German Shepherd just ended up following me everywhere I went.

In the corner of my eye, I noticed something strange in the well. I peered into the hole, something strange was moving around at the bottom. Dale journeyed near me, examining the bottom as well.

"What is that?" He inquired, squinting his eyes. The growl emitting from Ripley's throat answered his questioned, the dog investigated the scent further, his black nose sniffing the broken wood. A walker was trapped down in the well.

"Stop!" Dale cried out. Right in time too, T-Dog was about to take a sip of the water. He froze, confused. He dropped the canister, walking near the well and peering down into the darkness, seeing the walker growling beneath us.

"Damn." T-Dog muttered.

* * *

**Thank you very much for reading, please leave me a review! I'm not sure when the next chapter will be posted, but I'll try to update as soon as possible.  
**


	11. Diminishing Hope

**I really glad you guys like my story! I've been trying to write whenever I have time, especially now since I'm having a little break because of the holidays. I have some side projects that need attention, but I'm just in a Walking Dead mood! Not to mention 3 weeks until season 3 comes back! Its so close, yet so far away. I guess in the meantime, I can wear my 'I heart Daryl' shirt.  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.**

* * *

_Diary of the Dead Days_

Part 2: Hershel's Farm

**Chapter Eleven  
**_Diminishing Hope  
_

* * *

"We can't just leave it in there." Andrea peered into the well, gazing down at the walker.

The smell was putrid, death mixed with water that has been rotting in the heat. Shane had shined a flash light down in the well, revealing one of the most disturbing walkers I've ever seen. It was bloated to nearly twice its size, like a sponge soaking up the water and even fungus started growing on its body. Its growl was a hissing, gurgling sound. I scowled at the beast, squatting down to get a better view as the others surrounded the well. Dale called for Shane and Andrea to investigate what we found. After Maggie and Glenn returned from their supply run, they checked out the problem as well.

"How are we getting it out?" I inquired.

"We can just shoot it." T-Dog offered, Andrea shook her head.

"Then it would infect the water, we have to pull it out." Her plan was easier said than done, there was no way we could manage to hoist the walker up out of the well without tying a rope around it ourselves. I began biting the inside of my mouth, trying to figure out the best way to take care of the problem but my mind was blank. I couldn't help but feel distracted, I kept glancing back at the woods and expecting Daryl to return with Rose and Sophia. He wasn't back yet.

"We need bait." Shane said, his concentration on the mutated walker.

"Like meat or something?" I questioned, I wasn't sure where he was going with this plan.

"No, we need live bait. That thing isn't going go after something that ain't moving." His dark eyes gazed around the group. His plan sounded insane, a tremendous risk that might get somebody killed. Everyone started looking at one another, no one brave enough to volunteer for the task. I didn't like the plan at all, it didn't seem worth it. I rather risk shooting it than risking someone's life.

"I'll do it." Glenn's voice was the first to speak. I stared at him with wide eyes, he couldn't possibly be serious?

"Are you crazy?" Maggie hissed, her brown eyes full of fear.

"You can't go down there." I added, standing up and stepping towards Maggie as I sided with her.

"Somebody's got to do it." He half-heartedly grinned.

There was a flash of regret in his eyes, but it was only there for a split second. None of the others bothered to argue, though Dale didn't seem comfortable with the idea of letting Glenn be lowered down into the well. With the rope that was near the well, Shane tied a secure knot around Glenn's waist and gave him another rope to tie around the walker. We each lined up, holding the rope that was literally Glenn's life line. I tighten my hands around the thick twine, wishing for the upper body strength I didn't have. My spot was behind Shane, were I hoped he would be able to pull the weight I lacked. As Glenn began to lower himself into the well, I felt Maggie tense behind me.

My arm muscles tightened as Glenn was hanging by just the rope, the rugged texture of the rope was starting the make my hands burn but I forced myself to keep a tight grip. The rope bend against the post next to the well that helped support Glenn's weight. As he drew closer to the walker, the beast began to make louder noises. For a second, I noticed the post leaning dangerous to the side but after that quick moment, it completely snapped.

My heart skipped a beat as I was lurched forward, my nose crashing into Shane's back and Maggie nearly falling on top of me. Glenn's screams echoed from the bottom of the well. Shane had reacted faster than anyone else, he immediately grabbed for the rope before it completely disappeared. My nose was aching, I thought the impact had caused it to bleed, but that was the least of my concerns. I grabbed the rope as well, and the others scrambled to pull Glenn to safety.

"Oh my God, are you okay?" Andrea fretted as we gathered around to yank Glenn fully out of the well.

"Did it get you?" Maggie panicked, her eyes scanning for any injuries.

He was catching his breath before he grinned, revealing the rope in his hand. Glenn had successfully snared the walker. I was amazed at his ability, smiling in relief as I patted his back. Shane squeezed his shoulder, impressed as well. Everyone, except Maggie, was astonished by his quick thinking. Even though he nearly died, he was able to get the rope around the walker. The next step was to pull it up.

The walker was even heavier than Glenn, its swollen body was slowly starting to lift up. My forearms were burning, but I just needed to keep it up a little more. Peering over Shane's shoulder, I saw the disgusting, vile looking creature almost out of the well. Its belly was dragging on the ground until its moisten skin got caught on something. Suddenly, its body rips in half with ease and its lower half and intestines spilling back into the well. We all stared dumbfounded at what just happened.

"Dammit." Shane cursed under his breath.

The torso stretched out his arms, clawing its way towards us but unable to move. My nostrils filled with its horrid stench, I covered my nose to shield myself from the stink. I was also thankful to realize my nose wasn't bleeding, though it still ached. T-Dog grabbed one of the weapons he brought with him to the well, bashing the walker's face in. I couldn't help but notice the reaction from the farmer's daughter, she seemed disturbed as T-Dog killed it.

"Because shooting it was a bad idea." T-Dog mocked, rolling his eyes.

* * *

Later in the day I had accompanied Shane, Andrea, and Carol to check up on the highway. The supplies were left untouched and no one was in sight. I wasn't expecting them to be here, but I had a glimmer of hope that they would. I stood beside Carol with Shane and Andrea behind us. I felt bad for Carol, the pain she must be going through. Rose was my sister but Sophia was her daughter. A mother that lost her child, feeling helpless that she couldn't protect her only daughter. Carol was fighting back tears, I could sense her hope diminishing. She no longer believed we were going to find them, but she refused to say so. I sighed deeply, I wasn't going to give up. They had to be out there somewhere.

"We'll come back tomorrow and the next day if we have to." Andrea spoke up.

"I'm sure they'll find the highway eventually." I tried to sound reassuring, but Carol only waved away our comforting words. She was tired of hearing more false hope.

We lingered around for thirty minutes before leaving, in case they might show up. I would have stayed longer, but Carol insisted we return. I couldn't help be feel agitated with her as she was obviously giving up on her daughter's survival. "_If you start giving up, everyone else will start giving up too._"Daryl's words rang in my head. Part of me did want to give up, the constant feeling of raising my hope only to be let down was exhausting and made me feel depressed. But I knew Rose wouldn't want me to leave her behind. Even though she had been upset with me, she still loved me. It was my name she called out when the walker found her, she was depending on me to save her.

As we headed back towards the farm, Andrea and Shane were scouting out a spot for a shooting range. Half of our survival group didn't know how to handle firearms properly, me included. I thought back to my archery skills and my lack of aim. If I couldn't aim with a bow, I probably was no better with a gun. Shane had been a gun instructor before and offered to teach the rest of us. Even though Hershel didn't allow the use of guns on his property, he reluctantly agreed to let us train. It was better to know how to safely handle a weapon than not at all.

"Can you teach me how to shoot a gun?" I asked Shane after they found a good spot for the firing range. He mentioned starting the training as soon as possible.

"Have you ever handle a gun before?" He fell into step beside me, letting Andrea lead us back to camp. Carol was walking a slow pace behind our group, keeping silent.

"BB Gun." He held back a chuckle, shaking his head.

"There's a big difference between a BB gun and the real thing." Shane said, "But you can join the gun training. I'm surprised you don't know how to shoot, your dad had quite a large collection."

"He didn't like people touching them." I felt awkward speaking about my parents. When Shane mentioned my dad, I couldn't help but remember his body sitting limp in the recliner. I shook my head, forcing the image out of my mind. I had to stop being so sensitive about topics like that, he hadn't meant any harm in mentioning my parents.

"I'd like the learn how to handle a gun too." Andrea added, her voice interrupting my thoughts.

"A desire for gunwork is good, but you'll have to cope with the guilt of taking another person's life." Shane warned, a dark glint in his eyes.

"Their just walkers," I scoffed, "Their life is already taken."

* * *

Daryl had returned from his search alone. He hadn't found Rose or Sophia, but he stumbled upon an abandoned house that had evidence of someone staying there recently. I felt a wave of disappointment, this would be their third night in the woods. By now they would be starving and dehydrated if they hadn't found a source of water or any food. Their time was ticking away. Carol had been in the RV, instead of her tent. From my van, I noticed Daryl visiting her. He was probably going to tell her the news she was expecting to hear. I could already picture her brimming with tears, dealing with the constant reminder that she didn't know whether her daughter was alive or dead.

That was what pained me the most. Had Rose been dead all this time? Were we just looking for a ghost? Or was she still alive, barely hanging on and waiting for her older sister to save her. I gritted my teeth to force the tears away. Crying wasn't going to solve anything. I shouldn't mourn because I believe she's still out there.

I ran my fingers through my hair, grateful the Greene's had allowed us to use their showers. When Maggie came up to me earlier in the day to tell me it was my turn to shower, I had to hold in my excitement. Today was the first time I had been able to bathe since the CDC. I didn't give Ripley a bath, they would probably think I was weird for letting a dog shower with me. Though they let me use the garden hose to give him a quick wash and relieve him of the heat. After my shower, I hadn't pulled my hair back right away, letting it stay down as it was almost time for bed. I couldn't help but feel guilty as I thought of my sister. I was enjoying the cleanliness of using soap while she was lost in the woods, dirty and scared.

"Ripley, why couldn't you be a bloodhound instead of a herding dog?" I teased the sleeping canine, he twitched as he heard his name.

I watched as Daryl exited the RV. He still firmly believe Rose and Sophia was out there. Rick believed as well, but I could see the doubt in his eyes and as the days go by the others started to lose hope. But Daryl refused to think they were dead. I couldn't understand why he was so determined to find them. He had no relation to either of the girls and barely knew them. I don't even remember Rose ever speaking to him. I recalled the story he told about getting lost in the woods, he might feel empathy towards them knowing the fear of what its like to be lost.

I watched him pass my vehicle, his gaze was down and didn't even realized he was being watched. Before I went to bed, I wrote in my journal. My writing focusing on the man who wouldn't give up hope on my sister. If anyone was going to find those girls, it was him.

* * *

The next morning was the continuation of the search, Rick looked much better than he had looked yesterday and Shane was slowly recovering from his ankle injury. Lori had wanted me to help with the laundry that Carol had been sorting out all morning, but I wanted to help search for my sister. She hadn't been pleased with me saying no, but she didn't saying anything, only shooting me a disapproving look. Rick was organizing the search parties, splitting the group up thin so we could cover more ground. Jimmy, the boy from the farm, asked to join the patrol with Hershel's consent. While Daryl was going to borrow one of the horses to scout the ridge.

Rick assigned me to search the area of woods closest to the farm with Glenn. Even though we searched the area before, it wouldn't hurt to check again in case they manage to slip under our radar. I led Ripley with the leash and had an axe in my other hand. I pulled back my hair and clipped my bangs with some bobby-pins to keep the brown locks out of my face. Glenn was armed as well, but he seemed distracted. Our searched was silent until Glenn finally spoke up.

"Why are girls so confusing?" He blurted out, but kind of regretting his sudden statement.

"What?" I raised an eyebrow, blinking in confusion. How could he be having girl problems during a time like this, but then my jaw dropped, "Are you talking about one of the farmer's daughters?"

"Maggie." His voice was laced with guilt.

If he was keeping this a secret, he was bad at it. I didn't know exactly what was up with him, but I could tell by just looking at his face that something was troubling him. However, I didn't know it was "girl problems".

"What happened?" I inquired, hanging a purple rag on one of the trees to signify we covered this area. Ripley kept sniffing at the ground, but I doubt he was going to find anything.

Glenn paused, hesitating before speaking, "We had sex."

My eyes went wide and I felt my face grow hot. My mind couldn't help but think of, well, dirty thoughts. I forced my mind blank, concentrating on the task at hand. I placed another rag on one of the trees as we continued to trek through the woods. Now I wished I had been assigned to a group with someone else, I wasn't expecting Glenn to confess such strange things to me.

"Um, what's the problem?" I blushed. I probably looked like an idiot with my face so red at the mere mention of sex.

"I thought she liked me, but she said it was just a 'one time thing' and she doesn't even know if she likes me or not." Glenn sighed, clearly depressed.

I didn't know what to say, and I didn't really have any valuable advice to give. Relationships weren't my strong point, and I never even had sex before. I felt kind of jealous. Even though all these horrible things were happening, Glenn managed to find somebody to like. Glenn was around my age, I was twenty-two and he was twenty-four, and everyone else was much older than us. Ever since the whole outbreak occurred, I never really thought too much about being romantically involved with anyone and accepted that my sister was all I had left. If I had a chance with anyone, it might would have been Glenn but that wasn't going to happen now.

"Just give her time." It was the only reasonable advice I could give. He nodded and the rest of our search continued in silence.

* * *

We returned before dusk but nightfall was around the corner. None of the search parties had returned with either Rose or Sophia, but Daryl was still out there. Carol had mentioned earlier in the day to organize a dinner to thank the Greene family for their hospitality. Lori and Carol had been cooking dinner while we had all been searching. Carl was finally able to walk around since his surgery and he was starting to look healthy again, it was almost hard to believe he had been shot. Though he was still worried about his friends. He told me he would look for them himself, but he wasn't allow to leave the farm.

I sat in one of the lawn chairs that surrounded the fire pit, breaking up twigs and throwing it in the empty, fire-less pit with Ripley laying at my feet. I wasn't doing it to be productive, it was just something to do while we all waited for dinner. Andrea sat on top of the RV with Dale's rifle in her hand, taking the old man's shift for awhile. Carl was beside me as well, petting Ripley.

I just happened to gaze towards Andrea, noticing her tensing up and focusing her attention towards the forest. She jumps out of her seat as she sees a limping figure emerge from the tree line.

"Walker!" She screams.

Ripley barks at Andrea's booming voice, scrambling to his feet. I did the same, racing towards the RV near Dale as he tries to get a better look at the figure. I squinted my eyes, it was too far away to get a decent look at it, but it was bloodied and limping like a walker. Rick tells Andrea to hold her fire as he races out into the field, pistol in hand. Shane, Glenn, and T-Dog quickly follow behind him with weapons to back him up. I gulped, hoping nothing bad would happen.

"Andrea don't." Dale warns. I look up and noticed Andrea taking aim at the figure. She hadn't had any gun training and didn't know how to properly aim. If she had my aiming skills, she would probably hit Rick or the others.

"Andrea!" I hissed as well. Her finger lingering above the trigger. She ignored us and pulled it. The figure dropped to the ground before the loud sound rang in my ears.

"No!" We heard Rick screaming in the distance.

It took me a moment to realize what just happened. I had thought it was walker, but it wasn't. I didn't even stop to think it might have been Daryl returning from his search since he had left on horseback. My heart was pounding with fear, my body was shaking, and I felt like I was about to cry.

Daryl had been shot.

* * *

**Too bad since I'm writing in first person I didn't really have a chance to write about Daryl's hallucination about Merle, I really like that part in the series. But thank you for reading! Please leave a review~  
**


	12. Nerves

**I am really sorry for the delay, I've just had a stressful couple of weeks and I just needed to get it together, it was mostly with school work. Thank you for being patient with me, I really appreciate it. But Happy Valentine's Day in advance to everyone! I hope you all have a wonderful Valentine's Day and get lots of chocolate~  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.**

* * *

_Diary of the Dead Days_

Part 2: Hershel's Farm

**Chapter Twelve  
**_Nerves_

* * *

I ran as fast as my legs could carry me, running inside the house and yelling for Patricia. She had been in the dining room, setting the table as I grabbed her shoulder and frantically told her about what happened to Daryl. Patricia nodded sternly and headed outside to meet with the others before telling me everything was going to be alright. I wasn't able to see what kind of condition Daryl was in, but I was afraid to know. Andrea was aiming for the head, and I saw his body hit the ground. I couldn't stop shaking, I had to sit down before my knees gave out. I bit down hard on my lip, trying to steady myself and not to cry.

I heard them stumble inside, Rick and the others were holding up Daryl and helping him walk. From what I saw from the threshold in the dining room, his head was still there but he was still wounded. Knowing this much calmed my nerves but I was still anxious. I couldn't quite explain my reaction. I mean, if anyone else in the group had been inches away from death, I would have been scared and worried about them. However, this shocked me to my core. If Andrea had been a better shot, Daryl would have been dead. I already lost so many people in these past few months. My parents and Amy were gone along with my sister lost in the woods. I didn't want to add Daryl to that death list.

Lori and Carol heard the commotion from the kitchen and went to investigate it. They found me sitting at the dining table, I was awaiting to hear more news from Patricia. I explained to Lori and Carol about what had happened, the two looked at me with horror as I retold the story. The front screen door swung opened and Andrea quickly raced in, her boots sounding loudly against the hardwood floors.

"Is he okay?" She was out of breath, even though the run from the RV to the house wasn't long. Her eyes were wide like a deer caught in headlights. She looked horror-stricken and nearly appeared about to cry, she almost took someone's life.

"You barely missed, it's a good thing you haven't took any gun lesson yet, huh?" I tried lightening up my tone in an attempt to make myself and Andrea feel better. She forced an uneasy laugh.

It took about thirty minutes for Patricia and Hershel to get done applying the proper medicine and bandages to Daryl's wounds, allowing him to rest in the bedroom upstairs. The bullet grazing the side of his temple wasn't his only injury, he somehow maintained to pierce his own side with one of his arrows. He explained the horse got spooked by a snake and threw him off, as he tumbled down the ravine he landed on his arrows. However, his search wasn't for nothing as he managed to find Sophia's doll in the stream. For being left in the water, it wasn't in bad condition. No blood or any damaged was done to it. It was another ray of hope that both the girls were still alive.

Everyone was gathering inside the house, the dinner that Lori and Carol had made to thank the Greene family for allowing us to stay on their farm was done. As I was about to take my seat at the table Maggie had pulled in next to the main dinning table since there wasn't enough seats, Carol had gently grabbed my arm. I looked back and noticed a tray of food in her hands.

"I was going to give Daryl some dinner, I thought you might want to come." Carol said, smiling sweetly at me.

I couldn't tell if she only asked me because she didn't want to go alone or not, but I accepted. I felt oddly strange for some reason, I kept playing my reaction of what happened earlier over in my head. Of course, it was only natural for someone to be worried about their friend after they almost died. Though I never really recalled crying over Amy's death, but I didn't get the chance the spend as much time with her as I did Daryl. I was beginning to get nervous as we reached the door to the bedroom, I wasn't sure what to say to him. Carol knocked before twisting the knob and opening the door.

Sprawled out on the bed was Daryl who quickly grasped the sheets to cover his torso as we walked in, looking wildly as if he hadn't expect our arrival. His eyes darted between Carol and me, and then his gaze finally rested on the ground. Carol walked around the bed, setting the tray of food on the end table. She smiled at him, leaning down and doing something I hadn't expected, she kissed him on the cheek. It surprised him as much as it surprised me, Daryl instinctively jerked away. His reaction somewhat reminded me of an abused animal receiving affection for the first time.

"You've done more for my little girl today than her own daddy ever did his whole life." Carol thanked him, smiling softly.

For a moment, I imagined myself leaning down and kissing his cheek as Carol did. The thought immediately caused my face to become flustered and I shook the idea away from my head. Daryl looked away from Carol, casting his gaze towards the sheets on the bed and refused to make eye contact with either of us.

"I didn't do anything that Rick or Shane wouldn't have done." He said.

"I know, you're every bit as good as them." He didn't seem convinced by her reassurance, but he remained silent.

I stood near the door, watching the two carefully and didn't say a word. Carol gazed up at me, expecting me to thank him as well. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing come out. I was at lost for words. I couldn't help but feel shy and embarrassed.

"I'll see you downstairs for dinner." Carol said before exiting the room and leaving the door slightly cracked.

I awkwardly stood there, thinking thoroughly in my mind of what to say. I couldn't think of how properly thank him, and doing something like Carol did was out of the question and too embarrassing. When I finally summed up the courage to say something, I noticed he had been looking at me the whole time. His expression was hard to read, it kind of gave me the feeling of that I should leave but didn't appear unwelcoming. I gulped, resisting the urge to bite my lips.

"T-Thank you for looking for my sister." My voice came out in a stutter. I internally cursed myself, I thought I was finally over my shyness but for some reason, I felt nervous to be in the same room with Daryl, "... It means a lot to me."

"It's the least I could do for the way my brother acted." I was confused by his response, but I didn't press the subject. I silently waved goodbye before leaving and shutting the door behind me.

I felt greatly relieved by leaving the room, my nerves calmed as I walked downstairs and into the dinning hall. However, dinner wasn't any better. It was uncomfortably tense, no one really said anything. I sat at what was unofficially dubbed the 'kids' table between Glenn and Beth. I didn't know Beth really well, but when I glanced over at her, she smiled at me. It was probably in order to be polite, but her kindness made me feel more at ease.

The silence was almost unbearable, so I tried to eating my food quickly. I wasn't a big fan of steak, but I forced myself to eat every last bit. It was shameful to waste food and I would need the energy for tomorrow, the search for Sophia and Rose would surely intensify due to finding evidence. I heard a pen scribbling against paper next to me, I looked over and saw Glenn writing a note.

_Tonight. Where?_ Was what I could manage to read and I assumed in was in Maggie's handwriting and Glenn was responding to the note. Maggie had been able to be secretive about it, but Glenn made it quite obvious though it wasn't intentional. It was hard not to notice the stern look that Hershel kept shooting at our table, but Glenn was oblivious to it.

He passed it back to Maggie. I couldn't help but roll my eyes as just early today, Glenn had complained to me that he was having problems with her. They seemed to have solve their issues quickly.

* * *

The following day was the start of gun training, which made me both excited and nervous. I had hoped to train more with using my compact bow since I hadn't been able to use it since our first camp near Atlanta, but learning how to handle a gun was equally important. I had been meaning to ask Daryl for more lessons, but with the search for Sophia and Rose and his newly acquire injuries, there hasn't been time. I was hoping the gun training would at least sharpen my aim and once I mastered the gun, it would make mastering the bow much easier.

The doll was found in the creek was near a housing development, which Shane was going to scope out after training. Whoever he evaluated as the best in gun training would accompany him, I wanted to help search for my sister but I knew my skills weren't going to be the best. If the search at the housing development turned up empty, the following day we would check back at the highway in case they found their way there. If they weren't in either locations, I'm not sure what would happen next.

For training, we lined up in front of a fence that had glass bottles placed on the posts. My father's favorite pistol was in my hand, I had no idea what kind of gun it was but Shane had explained it was an AMT Skipper. Which still eluded me.

Once we were given the signal to start shooting, I aimed as best as I could for the glass bottle in front of me. Of course the shot zipped past it, not even grazing the glass. I sighed, trying to aim once again. I felt the presence of Rick behind me, watching carefully as I took aim which made me nervous. I ended up missing again.

"You take to long to aim." Rick offered, "The second you line up your sights, shoot."

I nodded, trying my best to follow his advice. I held the gun firmly in my hands, aiming for the bottle. It was hard to force myself not linger on making my aim perfect, but as soon as the bottle was visible, I shot the gun. It was the closest I've ever been to hitting a target, the bullet hadn't hit the glass but hit the wood below it.

"Good job, keep practicing." Rick pat my shoulder in praise before moving on to Beth beside me, who was doing a lot worse than I was.

I grinned, happy I was able to improve my aim in the slightest. Rick's advice had helped a lot, I was constantly trying to keep my aim perfect. When my target was lined up in my sights, I keep trying to keep it there instead of shooting. I readied my gun, taking aim once again at the bottle. With the pull of the trigger, the glass bottle shattered upon impact of the bullet. I couldn't help but smile like an idiot, I had finally hit something I was meaning to hit.

Every so often, we would hold our fire for Rick and Shane to replace the broken bottles with either more bottles or cans. At some points, I would miss but only by a little bit, but for most of the part I would hit the target. I felt overwhelming pride, even more so as Rick praised me for my improvement. However, Andrea had been the best in shooting practice. She told me she was thankful the sun was in her eyes, or else she might would have killed Daryl.

* * *

The rest of the day had been uneventful, Andrea and Shane had continued searching for Sophia and Rose near the housing development but it turned up infested with walkers and no sign of either of the girls. I slipped away from camp, grabbing my compact bow out of my trunk. I went out into the open field in front of the farm. Dale could probably spot me from on top of the RV, but I didn't care if anyone saw me. I just practiced pulling back the string.

It felt as if my arms were stronger than last time, only by a little bit. It wasn't as hard to pull back the string as it use to be. However, after awhile of pulling it back, it became harder and my arms and fingers were starting to hurt. I forced myself to keep practicing until I couldn't manage anymore, my arms felt like noodles. I spent about half an hour just doing that and once I returned to camp, I placed it safely back into my vehicle. Even though I wanted to try to aim with it, I didn't have a proper target to shoot at.

"Where have you been?" I heard Lori's voice from behind, she startled me as I wasn't expecting her arrival.

"Just messing with my bow." I smiled a nervous smile. Her expression was stern and unhappy, her hands were placed firmly on her hips.

"I know you must be going through a lot, Lily," She started, "But Carol is in the same situation as you and she still manages to help around the camp. It's hard enough to split the laundry between the both of us while you and Andrea refuse to do any work. Ever since we've been here, you haven't helped us at all."

She started raising her voice at the end, but contained herself. I blinked, confused and surprised by her outburst. I know I had been cutting out cleaning duties, but I hadn't realized it upset her so much. I frowned, I couldn't help but feel angry. I couldn't stop myself from speaking.

"What about Carl? He sits around camp doing nothing, and I'm pretty sure the guys can lend a hand with laundry!" My voice was louder than intended, my anger had made it impossible to control the volume of my voice. I saw Glenn turn his head in the corner of my eye.

"They are busy protecting the camp." Lori spoke in almost a whisper, trying not to draw anymore attention, "Once you get off your high horse, I would appreciate it if you help me and Carol once in awhile."

She turned her heel before I had a chance to say anything else. Normally, I would just nod my head and say I'm sorry when I was being chewed out. I wasn't the one who got yelled at a lot, only when my mom would complain when I refused to do the chores which didn't happen often. At times, I liked Lori but she had her moments in which she acted like she had control of all the women in the camp. She would order us around, even back in Atlanta. I sighed, still seething with anger.

* * *

The next morning, I did help Lori and Carol with the laundry. Even though I did feel like I wasn't doing my fair share lately and Carol had been doing so much of the work, I despised the triumphant look on Lori's face. Dale was cooking our breakfast over the fire pit, eggs and bacon, while the others sat around the camp in lawn chairs. Andrea was on top of the RV, rifle in hand and guarding the camp.

I couldn't help but scowl, while Lori, Carol, and I was folding and sorting out everyone's clothes, they were all casually sitting and waiting for food. But I remained silent, only because I didn't have the courage to speak up. I couldn't imagine myself walking up to Shane, throwing a pile of clothes at him, and yelling '_Fold it your damn self!_'. There was no way such a thing would ever happen. I sighed, continuing to sort the folded clothes Carol was handing me.

Daryl was almost fully recovered, he was sitting in one of the lawn chairs surrounding the fire pit. We took a break from the laundry as Dale announced breakfast was ready, he handed the plastic bowls of food to everyone. I couldn't help but noticed the sideways glances he kept shooting towards Glenn, like he was waiting for him to speak. I thanked Dale as he handed me my food, my stomach was growling all morning.

I took my spot near Carol, Ripley was wagging his tail beside me. Dale didn't forget our canine companion, setting a bowl of the leftover bacon strips along with some of his dry food. I was only able to stuff two large bags of dog food in my van and the first bag was already halfway empty. Though I imagined finding dog food wouldn't be hard. When the outbreak happened, most didn't think of their animals and didn't bother to raid the dog food.

"Guys." Glenn's voice caught my attention. Everyone gazed at him with mild curiosity, our eating slowed as we awaited the rest of his unexpected announcement.

"What is it?" Rick asked as Glenn was hesitating.

"The barn is full of walkers."

* * *

**Thank you for reading and please leave me a review~ I will try to update as soon as I can! **


	13. The Barn

**Thanks for the reviews in last chapter, I always love reading them. It's makes me really happy that people enjoy my writing! School has been nice and stressful lately, I can't wait for spring break next month. Spring break will at least give me a break from classes (except my online ones …). And I'm so glad Walking Dead is finally back on TV!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.**

* * *

_Diary of the Dead Days_

Part 2: Hershel's Farm

**Chapter Thirteen  
**_The Barn  
_

* * *

My heart kept pounding against my chest, we all surrounded the barn. The front doors were chained shut and the moans sounded louder as we approached. I had no idea how we didn't notice it until now. The stench of death lingered heavily around the area and their groans were unmistakable. Shane peeked through the crack of the double doors, reporting over ten walkers inside. I shifted uncomfortably as I heard the number, knowing that if they had escaped without our knowledge of them being there, they would likely had killed us all. The barn was a sitting time bomb, the wood was rotting, nails rusting, and the barn was a couple of generations old. With time, they surely break through.

"We need to do something about this." Shane was pacing back and forth.

"We are guests on Hershel's property." Rick reminded him, "There is nothing we can do."

"We've gotta make things right or we just gotta go." Shane said.

"What about Sophia? What about Rose?" Carol spoke up from the back, I nodded in agreement. We were still looking for them, we couldn't leave. Shane chuckled under his breath, shaking his head while placing his hands on his hips. His dark eyes stared blankly at both of us.

"You really think they are alive? After all this time? They are long gone." His words weren't hostile, but he spoke like his was talking to children. Children that believe their dog was just sleeping instead of thinking it was dead. He lit a fire in my belly, I clenched my teeth and narrowed my eyes. I looked around the group, everyone remained silent. Carl gazed up at his mother, who averted her eyes. Lori had given up a long time ago but kept reassuring Carol as much as she could. Andrea and T-Dog also turned their attention to the dirt beneath their feet, their hope for Sophia and Rose being alive was gone as well. I was about to open my mouth to yell at the others for giving up, but Daryl had already started ranting.

"The hell is wrong with you people!" Daryl snarled, he then shot a menacing glare towards Shane, "We can't give up! They're still out there."

"It's been almost a week." Shane frowned, "You're the only one who still thinks their alive."

"My sister is alive!" I felt myself step forward, I was lingering in the back of the crowd with Lori and Carol, but I pushed toward the front. I stood next to Daryl, scowling at Shane. I was half expecting Carol to join me, but she stayed behind and watched from the back.

"We can't stay here with a barn full of walkers!" Shane growled.

Daryl stepped forward, getting in Shane's face. I almost thought they were about to hit each other until Rick got between them. He shot disappointing glances at both of them, knowing fighting wouldn't solve anything.

"The barn needs to be cleared, but we need Hershel's blessing." Rick calmly said.

"Hershel just thinks they are sick." Dale chimed in from the back, "He's not going to let us kill them. He'll think we're murders."

Our group erupted into another burst of arguing, everyone's voices mixed together in complaints about the whole situation. Rick tried to calm everyone down, but his voice was barely audible over the yelling. I didn't join in, slipping towards the back of the group beside Carol. Daryl and Shane were yelling at each once more, while Andrea kept remarking on how unsafe the barn was and T-Dog started mentioning on how the walkers were no longer people, only monsters.

The only thing that was able to stop our commotion was the sudden pounding against the barn doors, the walkers were drawn to noises and were all shifting towards the sound. Their bodies rammed against the doors, the chain was barely keeping them in. We all left the area, hoping the walker activity would cease.

* * *

Andrea had armed herself, following Shane's orders to guard the barn. I noticed the two of them getting closer lately, especially since their search at the housing development. She was basically becoming his right-hand man, er, or woman. Either way, I've been curious about what secretly goes on with our group ever since Shane saved me from Merle. He wasn't alone that night, Lori was with him and she appeared less composed than she usually did. Every now and then, I could sense the tense between them ever since Rick returned. I hadn't had the need to read any of my books lately because of the underlining drama that was occurring right in our own group. Plus the constant fear and stress of potentially being in danger made it even harder to relax, even though the barn seemed so isolated from the rest of the world.

Laundry duty was finished for the day, and Lori sat at the picnic table with Carl trying to teach him some schoolwork. I sat inside my van, leaving the sliding door opened while I let my legs hang over the side. Ripley was laying beneath me, not minding while my bare feet rest on his back. Normally, Ripley would start to growl when a walker was nearby, however as of late, he seemed more depressed and less active. I think the shepherd dog was missing Rose as well.

I used my free time to write some more in my diary, I felt as if I was neglecting it lately. I wrote about the barn, of course. Mainly focusing on how Hershel seemed to believe they were still people. After going through that surprise attack back in Atlanta, I didn't believe there was any traces of human left in them.

"Let's go, Ripley." After spending some time jotting down my thoughts, I hooked Ripley to his leash and pulled on my boots.

Due to searching for Rose and Sophia all this time, I had been mostly leaving Ripley in the care of Carl. Letting Rose's friend take care of him while I helped with the search of my sister. I led him near the barn, curious to why he hadn't reacted to it in the first place. Back in Atlanta, if he hadn't warned me about the approach of the walkers, I might not have been able to react as fast as I did and might would have not made it out there. I waved at Andrea, she nodded in my direction. Ripley's pace was slow, but I noticed him perk up as we came closer to the barn. He stopped and sniff the air, whimpering at first but then began to growl lowly. We continued our walk through farm, passing the house and awkwardly waving at Maggie and then heading back towards camp as Ripley already lost interest in our walk. I saw T-Dog looking over at the open field in front of our camp, I follow his gaze and notice Rick and Hershel emerging from the tree line. However, they weren't alone.

"Walkers!" T-Dog shouts.

Shane immediately jumps from his spot at the picnic table. Lori and Carol are also alerted by T-Dog's warning, they follow close behind Shane to see what the commotion was. Rick and Hershel both had walkers on snare poles, leading them towards the barn. Shane then races towards them, pistol in hand. I wasn't sure what to do, I started panicking as Ripley starts to pull against my grip and barking as the walkers approached camp. We headed towards the barn.

"They aren't people!" Shane yells as the two try to control the walkers, "They're dead, and they kill."

"Back off." Rick grunts, glaring at his friend as he tries to get a better grip on the beast at the other end of the pole.

Andrea, who was still guarding the barn, aims carefully at the walkers in case something was to happen and the walkers ended up attacking somebody. I held on tighter to Ripley's leash, the dog is now growling viciously. Lori holds onto Carl, worried about her husband.

"Could a living person walk away from this?" Shane fires several shots at the walker Hershel was struggling to control. The bullets take no effect as he shot at the heart, arm, and stomach. Shane then fires a final round in its head, the walker drops to the ground and Hershel stares at Shane with horror and shock. Rick continues to struggle beside Hershel, the walker riled up by the noise and sight of living people.

"The hell?" Daryl hadn't been at camp, but at the stables looking for a horse to continue the search. He must had heard the shoots and went to investigate. I look at him, his eyes were fixated on Shane's reckless behavior.

"Enough looking for two girls who are gone," Shane grabbed the bag of guns that Andrea had next to her as she guarded the barn, he threw it down in front of us, "Enough living next to a barn full of things that are trying to kill us."

He broke the rusty lock with ease, swinging the doors open and allowing the walkers to start pouring out. He steps back, aiming his gun at their heads and begin shooting. T-Dog and Daryl immediately grab for the guns, Andrea runs towards the line and starts shooting at them as well and Glenn joins in. I go towards the back of the group, having to drag Ripley with me.

Hershel collapsed on the ground, staring in horror and what was happening. Patricia ran out from inside the house, crying as she held on to Beth who stood beside her shocked sister. I felt bad for them, even though their family was bitten by walkers they still believed they were alive somehow and now they were watching them die again. Ripley kept barking loudly while the gun shots rang through the air, I almost wanted to cover my ears but I stood my ground and watch the onslaught before me.

The number of walkers we thinning, soon enough the last one stumbled out and was easily taken down by Shane. The former police officer peered inside, in case a straggler was still left in there but it was proven clear. Ripley finally quieted down as well, his chocolate eyes gazing around with panic and sniffing the air for anymore danger.

* * *

The aftermath of the barn shooting was tense, T-Dog, Dale, and Andrea organized the burying and burning of the walker bodies. Not long after the burials, Hershel ended up disappearing and Beth collapsed due to shock. It was obvious after the stunt Shane pulled, we were no longer welcomed and I felt more frustrated than ever. Rick had took Glenn along with him to find Hershel, hoping he would be able to save help his daughter from slowly dying in her comatose state. I ended up talking to Shane, it felt awkward speaking to him but the search still needed to continue.

"I know you don't believe my sister is alive, but I think we should check the highway one last time." I kept my eyes on the ground, but I could feel his cold stare.

"And if they aren't there?" Part of him might have regretted the careless words he said at the barn about my sister and Sophia, but if they weren't alive we needed to face that harsh reality.

"Then I guess we stop looking." My heart ached as I said those words. I was giving up on my sister, but I couldn't wait any longer. Daryl and I were the only ones who felt they were alive. We hadn't been able to check the highway lately because all the events happening at the farm, but this down time had given us an opportunity to look there again.

"Alright." Shane nodded.

Shane had led our patrol towards the highway. Andrea and Daryl joined to provide extra back up in case we ran into walkers. Carol almost didn't come, but I talked her into it, reassuring her that this was the last time. Daryl was the only one unaware that this was the last search party for Rose and Sophia, I knew if he figured out, he would be angry. Lori stayed behind to watch after Carl and help take care of Beth. Carl promised he would look after Ripley while we were out searching. Dale and T-Dog were guarding the camp and waiting for Rick's return. I prayed the entire time we traveled to the highway. Praying that they would be there, by some miracle that they were alive. I didn't care how they survived, I just wanted them alive and waiting for us at the highway. If they were dead, I still wanted to know even if it meant running into my sister as a walker.

"They aren't here." Carol muttered, glazed eyes staring at the road full of abandoned cars.

"Someone's been here." Daryl investigated the supplies we had left for Sophia and Rose.

I looked closer at what Daryl was talking about, I noticed a few bottles of water missing as well as some of the bread and canned fruit. Daryl even pointed out the crumbs left on the ground, he explained that this had been recent because the opened bags of bread weren't stale like they would have been if they were left opened for a long period of time. I noticed Andrea stiffened, thinking whoever messed with the supplies could possibly still be here, she tightened her grip on her gun as did Shane. I tensed up as well, thinking of a stranger watching us. Carol stepped closer to me, fearful as the rest.

"Lily!" I heard my name being shouted from across the road, my heart skipped a beat and I almost couldn't breath. I knew that voice. I looked up with wide eyes, seeing a figure appear from behind one of the cars and race towards me, "Lily!"

"Rose!" I screamed, tears falling from my eyes as my little sister ran towards me.

"Well, I'll be damned..." Shane was lost for words.

Without thinking, I ran towards my sister and dropped to my knees with my arms opened wide. She knocked me to the ground, embracing me and crying. I held her tightly, sobbing uncontrollably while laying on the rough pavement.

"Mom!" I had heard Sophia's voice as well, she was hidden along with Rose. The young, blonde girl jumped into her mother's arms. All fours of us crying to no end, being reunited with loved ones in such a harsh world. I couldn't believe they were alive. I bit down on my lip, feeling the pain to make sure this wasn't a dream. I got up from the ground, instinctively checking Rose for wounds. Her skin was caked in dirt and her hair was a tangled, oily mess. Though she bore no wounds.

"I'm so sorry," Rose sniffed, wiping the tears away from her eyes, "I don't hate you, I didn't mean what I said. I'm so sorry."

"Shh, it's okay." I hugged her once more.

I glanced at the others. Shane was still shocked to see them alive, but I knew he was glad. Andrea kept rubbing at her eyes as she was touched by such a reunion and Daryl was smiling at both Carol and me. Sophia was in the same condition as Rose, her blonde hair was almost brown from the mud and dirt. I had also noticed Rose seemed much lighter than usual, she probably hadn't eaten in the last few days.

"H-How?" Carol could barely form words, she couldn't stop hugging her child.

"He helped us!" Rose grinned as she pointed past where she and Sophia were hiding.

We all gazed in the direction that Rose pointed, not realizing there was a person leaning against one of the abandoned cars. We had been so surprised by finding Rose and Sophia, we let our guard down. Shane lifted his gun, aiming at the stranger. Daryl readied his crossbow as well. The man raised his hands, signifying he wasn't a threat.

"What's your name?" Shane called out.

"Aaron." He replied, "Don't shoot."

He dropped the butcher knife he had on his belt and slowly walked forward. Aaron was around my age with light skin and his hair was shaved to his scalp, similar to Shane's. There was something about him that seemed so familiar. As he approached closer, I started to realize who he was. My stomach twisted into a knot and my throat became dry. I wanted to hide behind the others, but I stepped forward.

"Is your name Aaron Ryder?" I asked with uncertainty in my voice.

I could feel everyone's eyes on me, their gazes full of doubt and confusion. Aaron's eyes widened in recognition, probably not realizing who either Rose and I were due to the fact that I hadn't seen this person in past ten years. He bore a fierce resemblance to my cousin and shared the same name.

"Shit, Lily, that's you?" He grinned, stepping closer but ceased due to the guns pointing at his head.

"Who the hell is this guy?" Daryl continued to glare at the stranger.

"Our dads were brothers, he's my cousin." I explained.

"We're related to him?" Rose gave me a questioning glance.

"How come Rose don't know him?" Shane and the others were still unconvinced on whether to trust Rose and Sophia's savior. Everyone's eyes kept darting back and forth between Aaron and me, looking at me for answers.

"I haven't seen him since before Rose was born." I said.

"You guys got a camp? I've been travelin' by myself until I found these two girls lost. They caught the attention of a walker and I took care of it, they told me about the highway and it took us awhile to find it." Aaron said.

He seemed friendly enough, even went out of his way to rescue two helpless little girls in the woods. Rose and Sophia were also talking very positive of him, encouraging us to let him join our group. Andrea and Carol seemed convinced, nodding in approval. However, Shane and Daryl were still on guard and unsure of what to do. Even if we didn't allow him to join our ranks, he is now aware there is another survivor group with a camp, which could be a bad thing.

"I say let him join," Andrea smiled towards me, "What are the chances of running into your family members like this, I'm sure you're glad you found a relative. Plus we need more people to guard the camp."

"Yeah." I agreed, but the unsettling feeling in my stomach wouldn't go away.

* * *

**I introduced another OC, hoping it would be a nice change of pace from the canon plot since I've been following it so closely. Anyway, I hope you guys liked it! Please review!  
**


	14. Aaron Ryder

**Sorry for the wait! It's finally spring break for me and I was able to get some writing done. Thanks for the reviews for last chapter!  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.**

* * *

_Diary of the Dead Days_

Part 2: Hershel's Farm

**Chapter Fourteen  
**_Aaron Ryder_

* * *

I'm sure ten years could drastically change a person, though I doubt the person Aaron was would ever change. My father, Greg, was the polar opposite of his brother. My father was hardworking, honest, and never been in trouble his whole life. My Uncle John, was another story. He was a good for nothing, hateful man who only knew how to drink and give people a hard time. Thinking about it, he somewhat reminded me of Merle. Even though he didn't deserve it, my father tried helping him out as much as he could since it was his brother. Aaron was born around the same time as me, and my mother would often take care of us both.

My uncle and his wife were in no condition to take care of themselves, let alone an infant. When Aaron was around five, his father got locked up, and when he got out of prison he swore up and down he had changed. My father believed him for a while, in which it was true because my uncle was able to take care of Aaron and from time to time we would see them at church. However, it didn't last long as my uncle took up drinking once more. He was a violent drunk, often beating his wife even when he was sober. This fact eluded my dad for the longest time, John's wife would always make up a story about how she fell down the stairs and got bruised.

Eventually, Aaron's dad was sent to jail once more due to aggravated assault and my family was stuck watching Aaron once more. I barely remember the times we played together before, but I always recalled it being fun. However, this time around, Aaron had changed drastically. I was eight at the time, but my memories of Aaron were quite vivid. The drunk, hateful side of his father was the only thing he knew. And since he didn't know any better, he acted the same way.

I was the victim of his anger, my parents were clueless about it as well. Every time I would play with Aaron, he would end up hitting or kicking me. I tried to fight back, slapping him until he would stop but he would just hit harder. Once he was finished beating me, he would shove me to the ground and walk away.

"I'm telling my mom!" I cried once after we got in a fight.

"I'll kill you if you tell anyone." Even though I was young, I knew exactly how my aunt felt. Even though this was wrong and it would probably be better if I told somebody what was happening, the malice behind those words had sent chills down my spine. Even if Aaron's threats were empty, I couldn't bring myself to tell on him.

I eventually got use to Aaron's abusive behavior, and the times his mother did take care him, I was so relieved. But he would always come back because she didn't have the money to keep him up. The worst part was when Aaron was too afraid to sleep in the guest room by himself, my parents allowed him to take my bed and made me sleep on the floor. I realized now he didn't sleep often because his father would get drunk at night and beat him senseless. Aaron would stay awake, glaring at me in the dark. I started to lose sleep because of his burning gaze brought me an unshakable fear. His physical abuse wasn't constant, most of the time he would pretend he was about to hit me just to see how I would react.

I started to get smarter though, every time he would come near me I would go to my mom or dad and hang around them until he finally gave up on his pursuit. I regretted pulling that however, because then I wasn't his only target.

A cat we use to have back on the farm had kittens. I just so happened to be in the backyard and I noticed him carrying a bucket of water towards where the kittens were, I followed him. He grabbed one of them by their necks and shoved it under the water. He was drowning it. This sent me over the edge, I rather him beat me than kill those innocent lives. He hadn't noticed me watching, I had screeched in anger and pulled the cat away from him. I didn't give him any time to react before I started punching him, hitting him so hard until my knuckles were hurting. I mostly aimed for his face, showing no mercy.

"Lily!" I had heard my father scream from the distance.

He only seen me terrorizing Aaron, not the fact I rescued the kittens from his demented abuse. I tried explaining my story, but my father wouldn't believe it and Aaron was crying the entire time. I got in trouble, forced to stay in my room for the next month. Those kittens ended up disappearing. My parents couldn't figure out what happened to them.

Aaron kept coming back to my house on and off for the next few years until the time I was around twelve. As he grew older, he was hitting me less and less. Every time he stayed the night in my room, he would tell me stories as I tried to sleep. Stories how his dad beat his mother, how he enjoyed hurting animals since they couldn't fight back, and how he was going to kill me one day. His stories were vivid and disturbing, leaving me with sleepless nights and nightmares when I actually could sleep.

By the time my mother was pregnant with Rose, Aaron and his father were long gone. My uncle's wife ended up disappearing and it wasn't found out until years later that she was murdered. My uncle was the prime suspect, but authorities were never able to find him. I wasn't sure what happened to Aaron, but ever since then I forced myself to forget those times.

And yet, he found me once again …

* * *

By the time we reached our camp back at the farm, it was late in the afternoon and Rick and Glenn hadn't returned. The others were lost for words when they saw us return with Rose and Sophia, but Ripley was happy to see the children again. The dog raced up to them, laid down on his side and wagged his tail joyfully in the dirt as they rubbed his belly. Everyone gathered around, their attention mostly drawn to the girls that they didn't noticed a new addition to our group at first. Aaron lingered silently behind us.

"I'm glad you two are safe." Dale hugged both of the girls, however, he gazed uncertainly towards the stranger.

T-Dog greeted us as well, though he was more blunt than Dale, "Who is he?"

"He's Aaron, Lily's cousin." Andrea explained.

Of course, Aaron's arrival wasn't fully accepted, but the others didn't really bother questioning it. Though we all agreed on waiting for Rick's final answer, since he was dubbed our leader. Shane didn't think it was necessary to wait for Rick's answer, but since Aaron was my blood, Shane didn't mention kicking him out. Though Shane told him if he tried anything stupid, he doesn't get another chance. Patricia further examined the girls, double checking whether they were injured or not. After that, the Greene family allowed them to use the showers and told them to take as long as they wanted. Aaron also took a shower after Rose and Sophia.

Rose had been extremely tired. Once she got out of the shower, we both sat in the back of the van and she rest her head on my lap. After about five minutes, she was out like a light. Carol also cuddle up with her daughter in the RV, both napping while we all awaited Rick's return with Hershel. I hope they would return soon because Beth's condition was getting worse and Lori was starting to panic. I decided to spend some time writing in my diary while Rose slept soundly.

Even after Aaron disappeared with his father ten years ago, I could never bring myself to tell my parents what really happened. Whether they would believe me or not wasn't what I was worried about, I was worried Aaron would keep his promise. That he would kill me if I said anything. It was silly of me to actually believe it, but I just wanted to forget that it ever happened. That he never existed. I forced myself to never talk about it and it eventually became a distant, horrible memory.

I wrote about those days when Aaron would stay at house, wishing I had told my parents, and now how I was scared of him being here. Though if I were to tell Shane about my fears of Aaron being here, he'd probably kick him out of our group in a heartbeat. But, what if he really changed for the better? What if he was no longer that abused kid that lashed out on weaker victims?

"Lily." The sound of my own name caused me to jump, nearly throwing my diary out of my hands. I quickly hid it underneath my legs. I looked up and saw Aaron leaning his arms on the middle seat, looming over Rose and me. I felt uncomfortable because he was blocking my only exit out of the van.

"Hey." I attempted to smile. I glanced at Rose's sleeping form, thankfully my jerking didn't wake her up.

"I had no idea that I rescued my own blood." He said, "I forgot Aunt Liz was pregnant back then."

"Yeah." I muttered, not being able to meet his gaze.

"I see you still like animals." I jerked my attention towards his face, my eyes wide from his comment. The smile on his face sent chills down my spine. I immediately looked around for Ripley, I last remember seeing him sleeping peacefully on the front porch of the house.

"The others took him inside for dinner." Aaron reassured me, noticing my panicked reaction. The smile still lingered on his face and his eyes lowered to Rose.

"Hey! Dinner's ready." I felt relief wash over me as I heard Daryl's voice from the distance, "C'mon!"

Aaron slipped away and headed towards the farm house. Since both Rose and Sophia were so tired, I carried my little sister's sleeping form into the RV and laid her beside Sophia. Carol was already awake from her nap, smiling at me as I tucked both of the girls in. "If only Rick, Glenn, and Hershel were back, everyone would be home." I was still worried that the others hadn't returned yet, it was already dusk but even if they were to come back, Hershel surely kick us off his farm.

* * *

Dinner was even more tense than it was last time we all ate together. Maggie's mind was mainly focused on her sister's poor health, but she was still obviously furious about what had happened. Patricia was silent when she served the food and Jimmy didn't bother to look any of us in the eye. Andrea explained the details to Aaron about what happened at the barn, but he didn't to seem to have an opinion on the matter. He didn't speak directly to the Greene's, only politely thanking Patricia for the food. Ripley was eating his dog food in the kitchen.

"I can't thank you enough for saving my little girl." Carol was eternally grateful towards my cousin. He kept awkwardly shrugging away her thanks, saying anyone would have done the same.

Carl sat beside me at the dinner table, also thanking Aaron for saving his friends. I was the only one who hadn't properly thanked him yet, I couldn't bring myself to utter such words to him. It was hard ignoring Carol's expecting gazes at me, waiting for me to thank him like everyone else.

After everyone was finished with dinner, I stayed behind to help both Carol and Lori with dishes. Carl wanted to bring Ripley outside to play, but I insisted that Ripley stayed inside. I wanted to keep a close eye on my dog.

"Why haven't you thanked Aaron yet?" Carol asked me as she handed me a dish to dry.

"I'll do it later." I said, hoping to she would leave at that. Carol shrugged as she continued scrubbing the plates.

"Rick should already be here by now." Lori kept looking anxiously out the window. I handed her the dried plate for her to put up, but she just set it on the counter as she kept watching the outside. Her slacking irked me, but I didn't say anything.

"I'm sure he's fine." Carol smiled.

"I'm going to go tell Daryl to look for them." Her voice was full of panic, but as she turned her heel I couldn't keep my mouth shut.

"Stop," My voice came out in a hiss, "Stop bothering other people with your problems. Rick can handle himself and so can Glenn, they are fine. Daryl shouldn't be out searching anyway, not too long ago he nearly died and was badly injured. So the best thing you can do is just do your chores and wait for your husband. If they aren't back by tonight, we will all go looking for them in the morning."

I don't know why I was seething with so much anger, I was so irritated that my body was nearly shaking. Lori stared back at me, completely dumbfounded by my sudden out burst. I was expecting her to lash back at me with more hateful words, but she only sighed and walked back towards the counter and grabbed the plates.

"You're right." She mumbled, placing the plates and silverware were they belonged.

I turned towards Carol, she was shocked but gave me a nod of approval as well as another dinner plate to dry.

* * *

I slept with one eye opened last night. Rose and Sophia managed to wake up and eat the dinner we saved for them and after their bellies were full, they went right back to sleep. I carried my little sister in my arms and made sure she was cozy in the back seat of the van. Ripley laid on the floorboard while I sat in the driver's seat wrapped in a blanket with one of my books. The alluring fantasy tales of adventure with a dash of romance couldn't keep me distracted. Carol offered Aaron her tent while she slept in the RV with Sophia. I found it suspicious that Aaron had no supplies with him other than a butcher's knife, but he might had a camp he abandoned. I locked my doors and watched the tent he was sleeping in closely, making sure he didn't sneak out.

The next morning I was tired from the lack of sleep, but both of the girls were fully rested and almost back to their old selves. Rose and Sophia were sharing stories with Carl while they sat around the fire pit and rubbed Ripley's belly. Since the laundry was done, I sat on one of the lawn chairs with the book I had last night in my lap.

"They're not back yet." I heard Lori's panicked voice.

"Don't worry, we'll look for him." Andrea reassured her. Andrea along with Shane and Daryl were preparing the truck for their search party. Rick and Glenn hadn't returned with Hershel last night, and now I was starting to get more worried as well.

However, just as they were about to jump in the truck to leave, Hershel's car is seen in the distance driving down the long, dirt road. I felt a flutter of relief. I didn't want Andrea, Shane, or Daryl leaving camp because I didn't feel safe with them gone and Aaron here. I followed the others towards the car, awaiting to greet them and to hear about what had happened, but then I noticed an unfamiliar face in the back seat. The person was tied up and blindfolded.

"Who the hell is this?" I heard the anger in Shane's voice, he was trying his best to keep himself calm.

"We couldn't just leave him behind." Rick explained. Hershel pulled the stranger out of the car, and that's when I noticed the bloodied hole in his lower thigh. I grimaced at the gruesome wound.

"What are we going to do with him?" Andrea inquired, her eyes full of worry. This was a risky move, even though he is injured there is a chance this stranger may still be a threat to us.

"After he heals, we can drive him away from the farm and let him go." His plan seemed simple, but as they explained more of what happened while they were looking for Hershel, it seems he was apart of an even bigger group than ours. A group that could easily over power us.

As Hershel led the blindfolded boy towards the house, Rick noticed a new person in our ranks. His attention turned towards Aaron, and Glenn was also curious about this new stranger, but he appeared more uneasy than Rick. It took Aaron a moment to realized that Rick was giving him a questioning stare, he smiled and introduced himself.

"My name's Aaron Ryder, I found Rose and Sophia wandering around in the woods and brought up to the highway were I meet your group and my cousin." He held out his hand, in which Rick nodded and shook his hand.

"I know what it feels like to find family. When everything seemed to go to shit, I somehow found my wife and son." Rick smiled, his mind probably going back to the time in Atlanta when he stepped out of the truck and saw his family with a group of survivors. Though I doubt Aaron felt the same way when he saw me.

"Yes, I'm glad I could find someone in my family." Aaron said.

That was it, Aaron was fully inducted into our group. I was hoping for some reason Rick wouldn't want him to join us, but since he even brought another stranger that was shooting at him home, I doubt he was going to refuse Aaron who has done nothing to anyone. Maybe he has changed? I had no proof he was a danger to our group and everything else he had done was in the past.

But this uneasy feeling I had refused to go away.

* * *

**Thank you for reading, please leave me a review and tell me what you think! **


	15. Suicide

**I'M SO SORRY! I'm very sorry about the very, very long time it took me to update. I'll try my hardest to update chapters in less time, I just had a really bad writer's block and been uninspired to write. Forgive me.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.  
**

* * *

_Diary of the Dead Days_

Part 2: Hershel's Farm

**Chapter Fifteen  
**_Suicide  
_

* * *

Hershel had worked diligently to make up for his absence. Not only was he able to help Beth recover from her shock but also managed to patch up the stranger, Randall, before the next morning. Depression still glazed Beth's eyes, but now she was eating and drinking instead of laying in bed staring at the ceiling. I wanted to give her words of encouragement, that everything was going to be alright, but I felt awkward since we never really talked. So I stayed outside and watched the kids while Lori and Carol prepared Beth's lunch. I waved off Shane and Rick as they left the farm with Randall, blindfolded and tied up in the trunk. They were going to drive him eighteen miles away from our camp, leaving him with supplies and a weapon. I wasn't sure how I felt about the Randall situation, but my mind was too preoccupied to worry about the stranger's fate.

Andrea was on guard duty on top of the RV while Dale and T-Dog sat at the picnic table, talking about the days before. I looked around the clearing for Glenn, but I couldn't find him. He was probably talking to Maggie, apologizing for what had happened. Their relationship eluded me, one moment they were having sex during a supply run and not talking to each other the next. It was hard to tell whether they were serious or not. But I guess it would be hard going steady with the world being like it is. Though, relationships were the last of my worries since Aaron was now accepted into our group. Walkers were predictable, Aaron wasn't. He was impossible to read and I was unsure of what he was planning, if he was planning anything at all.

Rose and Carl were trying to think of what game to play; I immediately shot down the idea of playing hide and seek. So they finally decided on tag, they offered to let me play, but I shook my head only wanting to watch. Ripley attempted to play with the children, he raced between them his tail wagging with excitement. However, I didn't realize that they dubbed me as base. Rose and Carl suddenly latched onto my arms as Sophia began to chase them.

"Hey! That's not fair." I cried out, trying to pull away from my sister and Carl, but they held on tightly. I only ended up dragging them.

"Yeah, you can't stay on base forever!" Sophia complained, "Base has a ten second rule."

"Come on, Carl, let's run!" Rose dashed away and Carl quickly followed. Sophia was right on their heels but couldn't quite catch them.

Both Rose and Carl took a u-turn, heading back towards my location. Carl managed to race past me, leaving Rose in the dust to be capture by Sophia. Sophia was inches away from tagging Rose, so my sister leaped towards me. With Rose charging at me, I didn't have enough time to dodge before both girls crashed into me and knocking me to the ground. I yelped in surprise by the sudden force and Ripley was quickly there to bathe us all in dog kisses.

"I tagged you before you got to base." Sophia bragged. Rose was about to argue, but instead let her friend win and agreed it was her turn to be the chaser.

"I think something else should be base." My face was hot with embarrassment as I heard everyone laughing. T-Dog was cackling the most while Andrea was giggling from up top the RV.

"You okay?" Dale called out, humor lingering in his voice.

I pulled myself off the ground, wiping the dust off my clothes and nodding towards Dale before walking off. They decided to change the base for their game to the RV. I couldn't help but smile at them, I didn't really care that they knocked me over or I got laughed at, I was glad both of the girls were safe and back to their normal selves. I leaned against my van, and watched them continue to play. The sounds of footsteps caught my attention, and I turned to see Daryl approaching me. Ever since his injury, we hadn't talked much, and I was starting to feel anxious and slightly nervous as he stood beside me. Like I was flustered and didn't know what to say. I normally felt this way around people because I was naturally shy, but this felt different.

"Get your bow, I think it's 'bout time you start practicin' again." Daryl grinned, leaning against the van as well.

"I have to watch the kids." The truth was, I didn't feel safe letting Rose or the dog out of my sight, not with Aaron roaming around the farm. I hadn't seen him since breakfast. The others said he was helping Jimmy with chores, and I wasn't sure when he'd be back.

"T-Dog and Dale can watch 'em, they ain't doing anything." He said.

"I rather watch them." Daryl shot me a glare, not understanding why I was avoiding his help. I really wanted to continue training with my compact bow, but I just couldn't leave my sister unattended. My gaze was focused on the children playing tag, but Daryl didn't seemed satisfied with my answer.

"The hell's going on with you?" He crossed his arms, standing in front of me and blocking my view of the kids.

"Nothing." I muttered under my breath, finding it hard to look him in the eye. I bit my lip, hoping if I ignored him long enough that he would eventually go away, but Daryl Dixon wasn't that easy to get rid of. He grabbed my arm, jerking me away from my van and leading me near his tent, which he still kept distant from the rest of the camp.

"What's going on?" Daryl snarled, losing his patience.

I looked over his shoulder, trying to keep Rose in my line of sight. I noticed Aaron appearing from the stables, he had finished helping Jimmy and was heading towards camp. He joined T-Dog and Dale at the picnic table, glancing towards the children playing and towards Daryl's tent. Our eyes met for a split second, but then he turned his attention to Dale, who was engaging him in conversation. Probably talking about the old days, asking what Aaron was doing before all this happened. Which was something I was curious about myself.

"It's him. I don't trust him." I swallowed the lump forming in my throat, "I rather not leave Rose or Ripley alone with Aaron."

"Why?" Daryl gazed at the others, and then looked back at me, "Ain't he your family?"

"Just because he's related to me, doesn't mean I trust him."

I was trying my best to avoid talking any further about the subject, not wanting to reveal how Aaron acted in the past. Reminiscing about those long ago memories were painful, and I felt shame as well. How I was easily bullied and couldn't stand up for myself, letting Aaron hit me and not even telling my parents.

"Hey, Rose, get Ripley, we're goin' somewhere." Daryl called out to my sister, motioning his hands towards us. Rose stopped her game with her friends, looking at Daryl with a questioning gaze, "Bring Sophia and Carl too. We gonna learn survival skills."

* * *

I felt the pressure, Daryl and all the children's eyes on me as I ready my compact bow. I gulped, pulling back my string and remembering the words Rick told me. You can only hold your concentration for seven seconds. Carl had heard a noise and when we investigated it, there was two walkers stuck in the thick marsh of the swamp near the farm. The walkers started moving, trying to escape the mud when we approached but the swamp had a good hold them. However, it was only a matter of time until they would eventually pull themselves out.

"This is the perfect target practice." Daryl told me, tossing me an arrow and pointing towards the walkers, "Shoot 'em."

I held my breath. Once I found the tip of my arrow lining up with the center of the walker's forehead, I released my string and watched as the arrow swirled through the air. It hadn't hit the forehead, but the arrow shot through the walker's eye and it then dropped to the ground, splashing in the mud. Rose let out a squeal of enthusiasm as did Sophia. Carl didn't act as impressed, but I saw a slight smile. I held in my excitement, making it seem like I was aiming for the eye all along. I turned to Daryl, looking for praise.

"Next one." I frowned, I was expecting a "_good job"_ or "_you're getting better"_. Everyone's attention was on me once more as I readied another shot. Taking my aim for the eyes this time, I hoped to impress Daryl with my improvement. The next shot somehow managed to land square in the walker's eye even with my added fear of missing, it landed dead next to the other. The children clapped, squealing in excitement at my success.

"I want to use the bow!" Rose grinned, and Sophia nodded her head in agreement.

"I don't think you can pull it back." I laughed halfheartedly. I handed the compact bow to the two girls, the drawstring had too much weight for them to pull it back.

"I can do it." Carl smirked, taking the weapon and trying it himself. His attempts were a little better than the girls, but he couldn't fully pull the drawstring all the way back. Embarrassment was clearly present on his face as he returned the bow to my hands as he muttered that guns were cooler.

Ripley sniffed the bodies as I ripped the arrows from their skulls. I gagged a bit as one of the walker's eyes was stuck on the tip. Daryl and Carl laughed at my attempts to slide the eye off using the other arrow, while mostly Rose and Sophia stuck their tongues out in disgust. As I tried to clean the arrows in the muddy stream, Daryl started giving the children a beginner's lesson in tracking. Showing them how our trail made a distinct path in the leaves. He was surprising better with kids than I ever expected. Maybe he had kids of his own? I shook the idea away from my mind, hoping something like that wasn't true. If it were, it'd mean they met a gruesome fate. Plus it was an odd thought of Daryl being with someone, he didn't seem much like a ladies man or at least I didn't imagine him as such. Thankfully my thoughts were interrupted by Ripley shaking a layer of water from his fur, the canine decided to bathe in the muddy liquid.

"Now you'll need a bath." I scowled at the dog as I patted his head.

* * *

Once we returned from our short training session with the kids, Lori immediately put me on guard duty for Beth. The depression from watching her family being slaughtered in front of her had been too much. Even though they were already dead, she still felt like they could be helped. Beth was contemplating suicide. I protested at first, not wanting to be responsible to try and stopping someone from killing themselves. I had no idea how to comfort her or what to say to her, but Lori and Maggie told me just to watch. I didn't have to say anything and if Beth tried anything, I was to yell for help. Daryl offered to watch Rose and Ripley while I did my guard duty, also he would keep an eye on Aaron. He didn't question my reasons for being suspicious of my cousin, though I'm sure he would expect an explanation sooner or later.

"Why does it matter?" Beth muttered, "There's no hope in this world anymore."

There wasn't any hostility in her words towards me, but I could tell she didn't want me to be there. I sat in the chair across from the bed Beth was sitting up in. I stared at my boots that were caked in mud from the swamp, not speaking to Beth. I'm sure I would be scolded by Lori later for the mess I probably tracked through the house. The weather was thankfully getting cooler, but it wasn't fully fall yet. However, it felt suffocatingly hot in the room, probably because of how uncomfortable I was.

"Have you ever thought about suicide?" Beth had been rambling for sometime, mostly complaining about my presence and talking about her family, but then her question caught my attention. My eyes widened as I gazed up from my boots and looked her.

Her eyes were glazed with sorrow and depression was written all over her face, even tear stains on her cheeks. Beth looked pitiful, like she had been waiting for death but it refused to come to her. I hadn't spoken to her much since she was mainly Patricia shadow, but I thought back to the dinner we had and how she smiled politely to me. It was like she was a completely different person.

"Have you ever thought about it?" She repeated her question, noticing how well she caught my attention. I started biting my bottom lip, my hands that were interlaced started shaking.

"Yes. I did." I swallowed the lump in my throat.

Beth was clearly not expecting me to say yes, her jaw dropped slightly and her expressionless eyes shown sympathy. She hesitated before she spoke, "Can you tell me about it, please?"

I had almost forgot that the Greene family knew almost nothing about me, they weren't connected to me like that Atlanta group was. From when we met at the quarry to the short time we spent at the CDC as well as visiting my old home and everyone learning the secret I was keeping from my sister. Beth's question brought back my feelings from the time my parents asked me to join them in suicide. My heart was beginning to ache, and I kept biting my lip so I wouldn't start crying. I breathed deeply before I started my story.

"It was before I left home and found the survivor group I was with now." It was hard to keep my voice from cracking, my gaze returned to my boots, "I wanted to find a shelter,but my parents didn't want to leave the farm. Every time I told them we should leave, they kept avoiding my suggestions. And then they finally told me. They wanted to go meet God, and they wanted me and Rose to go with them."

"You thought about it?" Beth was now more careful with her words, she wasn't venting anymore.

"I really did, it was hard. I kept thinking about those horrible creatures, and how I saw so many people dying on the news, being ripped apart. I didn't want to die like that." I sighed in an attempt to calm my nerves, "But then I thought about my sister, she's only ten. How could I ask a ten year old to kill herself? Then I started panicking, I realized I didn't want to die either. It just would have been easier if I did. I begged my parents not to do it, but their minds were made. So Rose and I left them behind."

"Are you mad at them?" She inquired.

"A little, but I've forgiven them." Our conversation was cut short as someone lightly knocked on the door and Maggie entered the room.

"Lily, you can go now. I'd like to talk to my sister for a little bit." Maggie looked as if she had been crying too. I felt bad for her, knowing exactly how it feels to have someone wanting to end it, but you don't want them to go.

"Yeah, sure." I muttered, smiling at both of them before hurrying out of the room.

I returned to my sister and Ripley outside. I heard arguing from the kitchen, sounded like Andrea and Lori bickering. I didn't pay much attention, not wanting to be dragged into the argument, but I somewhat knew what it was about. Lori was probably complaining about Andrea not doing much around camp, like she argued to me a couple of times. Rose was playing with the other children while Ripley was laying by Daryl's feet as he sat in one of the lawn chairs, glancing at the children every now and then as well as fiddling with his knife. I couldn't spot Aaron, but I assumed he went with T-Dog to help out with things.

"Done with chores?" Daryl teased, sharpening the hunting knife in his hand.

"Rick and Shane aren't back?" I asked, searching the area for the two policemen.

"Nope."

I nodded, heading towards my van. I wasn't sure how long they've been gone, but it was always unnerving when someone leaves camp. We're never sure if they'll return or not, and it was even more unsettling since the others went to town searching for Hershel and found a more larger group than ours. The other group could be a threat, especially since we have one of their members. Though I doubt they cared too much for him, since they left him for dead. I wasn't sure how I felt about dropping Randall off to fend for himself, it was almost scary how I could care less about the fate of this stranger. A small part of me felt slightly sorry for him, but the rest of me was numb to thought of people I didn't know dying.

I searched for my dark, gray jacket in the trunk since the afternoon breeze started to make me cold. Aaron was returning with T-Dog, the two had gathered water from the clean well on the other side of the farm. I heard Aaron offering to take Dale's shift for guarding the camp, but he had politely declined saying he could handle it. I couldn't tell if Dale didn't trust the newcomer with a gun or if he was just being nice.

"Hey, Lily." I barely noticed Daryl approaching with Ripley on his heels. It was surprising that Ripley was warming up to him quickly, the canine at first seemed to tolerate him but now was befriending him.

"Yeah?" I asked, slipping my arms into the sleeves of the jacket.

"So when you gonna tell me about this Aaron guy?" He crossed his arm, being straightforward as usual, "Everyone else seems to like him, and you didn't look like you had a problem with him."

"I don't really like talking or even thinking about it." I muttered, adverting my eyes to the ground. I then quickly scanned around the camp suddenly feeling uncomfortable talking about such a subject in the open, "I'll tell you later, I promise."

* * *

**I'll try to update soon, please review and thank you for reading!_  
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